


Endings, Beginnings

by chaosgroupie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Happy Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-09-23 02:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20332246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: Over 150 years after the blip, the world has been invaded and enslaved by the Kree. When Josephine's father is dying during a resistance raid on a Kree facility, he tells her to use the last of the Pym particles to go back and fix the timeline. To kill Thanos before the snap in order to stop the destruction of the Earth. Having lost everything, she does as he asks even though it's a one-way trip. Will she be able to deal with all the changes in her life? Or will the changes overwhelm her?Also, this has nothing to do with the new Sebastian Stan movie. I just liked the title and it seemed to fit with the story.





	1. The Before

2144 

Thor sat on the floor with me on his lap as we stared at a mural covering one of the walls of the Avengers building. One arm wrapped around my stomach, while the other pointed to various people in the mural, “Little one, do you remember who these people are?”

My little hand raised to join his and I pointed at the man with the glowing chest, “That’s Iron Man.”

“And what was his name?” Thor remained patient with me, as he always was when teaching me new things.

“Tony…” I paused, not able to remember more. “Tony…”

“Tony Stark, little one. Your great-great-great-grandfather.”

“Tony Stark.” I leaned back against him, then moved my hand over, “Thor.”

He laughed loudly, “Yes, little one. That is me.” He moved my hand over to the guy standing next to him, “Do you know who that is?”

Staring at the blue suit and round shield, I tried to think. I could only remember one man who had held the shield. “Sam?” my voice came out timid.

“No, Jojo, that is Steve Rogers, Captain America.” He turned my head to the side, “That one is Sam Wilson. He became Captain America after Steve retired.”

I pointed at a man with a metal arm, “Bucky is my favorite." I smiled as I looked at him. With his metal arm and half-smile, he had always been the one I enjoyed hearing about the most. His story of escaping his oppressors resonated with me, “Tell me the story again?”

Thor brought his other hand up and stroked my long hair, “Bucky was known as the Winter Soldier, the most feared assassin to come out of…”

“Except for Black Widow,” I smiled triumphantly, having remembered the woman with bright red hair.

“Except for Natasha.” He pressed a kiss against my head and took a deep breath. I could tell he was trying not to cry. Talking about Natasha always made him sad, “Bucky knew Steve from back before the war, before World War Two. They grew up together.”

“The motorcycle, Thor. Tell me about the motorcycle,” I turned my head so I could look up at his face. “Please.”

He smiled softly, “When Steve and Bucky were on the run from SHIELD, they were in a tunnel that automobiles would drive through. Like the ships the Kree travel in, but they had rubber wheels and stayed on the ground.” Thor held up his hands, acting out the motions like he knew I liked, “Bucky stood there, facing down a motorcycle as it came barreling toward him. He grabbed the handlebars and knocked the guy off, spinning it around, and jumping onto the back of the motorcycle.”

I giggled, “Did you see it?”

“No, but I heard the story many times over.” He pressed another kiss to my hair, “Now, can you tell me who the rest of the people are?”

We had been to the memorial many times. Thor liked to remember the good times, remember his friends that had long since passed away. I knew them all, or at least, I tried to remember them. I started pointing, “Carol, Peter, War Machine…”

“Rhodey,” he corrected.

“Rhodey, Sam, T’Cha… T’Cha… Black Panther, Shuri, Dr. Strange,” I paused and yawned. “Star-Lord, Nebula, Rocket, Clint, and…” I stared at the big green guy with glasses. “I don’t understand. Bruce isn’t green. He’s a person, like us.”

“Not exactly like us, little one. At one point, Bruce was just a human. But through a serum and gamma radiation, he became more.” His fingers ran through my hair, “You and I, Jojo, we’re not like other humans either. We’re more as well.”

I leaned back and closed my eyes, “I love you, Thor.”

“I love you too, little one.” His voice sounded sad, “I wish your mother could be here to watch you grow up. She would be so proud of you.”

“When can I join the commandos?” I spoke of the resistance that had formed not long after the Kree had enslaved what was left of the human race.

“The Howling Commandos are no place for a child, little one.” He stood, lifting me in his arms. Taking Stormbreaker out of the sheath on his back, transferring me to the same spot, “Hold on tight to me, little one. We need to get past the Kree patrol, back to our base.”

“Then I can join?” I knew I was being cheeky, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Jojo, you’re five years old. Once you become an adult, if you train as I tell you, practice weaponry and martial arts, you can one day become their leader.” He stopped in front of a wall of names, fingers tracing over one in particular. His voice came out soft, probably because he didn’t want me to hear, “Florence, this is so hard without you. I miss you every day.”

I rested my chin on his shoulder, staring at her name on the wall, “I miss mommy too.”

“I know little one. I know.”

2165 

The mural looked the same as it always did, just a little bit faded from having been painted over one hundred years ago. I sat on the floor with my legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, arms behind me propping me up. The face I always stared at, the one that kept me coming back, Bucky Barnes. His eyes seemed to bore into my soul.

Thor had told me many stories over the years. Only a few of them were about Bucky. Most were about the other Avengers, the ones he had known longer. While I felt like I knew them from the stories, the one that intrigued me the most was Bucky. The pain I could see in his eyes, the half-smile on his face. It seemed like he knew a secret that no one else did.

After the battle against Thanos, the Avengers were decimated. Tony died using the infinity stones, Bruce became handicapped after his turn with the stones, Natasha died to get the soul stone, Steve decided that being with his girlfriend from the 40s was more important than his family, and Clint retired to spend time with his wife and kids. The only left active was Thor, and he had left Earth to travel the galaxy, something I knew he still regretted.

Sam had taken on the mantle of Captain America with Bucky by his side. There were other powerful heroes. Scarlet Witch, Dr. Strange, Carol… but the world wasn’t the same without the original six. Not to mention the fact that the world tried it’s best to rebuild and reintegrate after Bruce brought everyone back, but it wasn’t the same. All because Tony Stark couldn’t let Morgan not be born. He didn’t want to lose what he had during the five years after the snap.

Still, if she hadn’t of been born, neither would I. She was my great-great-grandmother. When she was old enough, she took on the mantle of Iron Man until her son was old enough to take over. The role passed down from mother to son and then, from father to son. But when the Kree came and killed all the heroes, my grandfather hid the suit away, trying to stay alive.

He led the resistance long before my mother ever did. Before Thor took it over, holding the position for me. It was the eve of my twenty-sixth birthday, the day before I would assume the mantle of leader. I was both terrified and exhilarated. That’s why I snuck past the Kree to come to the memorial. To see the heroes who came before, to get inspired.

I stared at Bucky’s face, wishing I could have known him in real life, “I know I could never be a hero like you were, Bucky, like the rest of the Avengers. All I want is to make my world safe again. If you were here, I know what you would tell me. You would tell me that I can do this, that as long as I have good people by my side, I can win this war.”

Sitting forward, I drew my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees, “I’m not a hero. I’m just a girl, trying to do the necessary thing. Trying to fix what’s been broken.” I let out a sob, “I wish you guys were all here to help. To make things right. To help me figure out how to get rid of the parasites that have enslaved the human race.”

Taking a few minutes, I drew in several deep breaths until I had finished crying. I pushed myself up off the ground and walked over to the mural, placing my hand on top of Bucky’s image. I said softly, “I know what you would say to me if you were here, Bucky. You would say, ‘I’m with you ‘til the end of the line’ and then you would help me destroy the Kree. I don’t know if I can do this, but I will die trying if need be.”

2172 

“Dammit, Thor. You can’t die on me,” I pressed my hands to his abdomen, trying to stem the flow of blood.

He placed his hands over mine, “This was always a possibility, little one. That one of us would die fighting for what we believe in. Your mother…"

“No,” I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I pressed harder. “You can’t die. You’re all I have left. I can’t do this without you.”

Thor turned his head to the side and coughed, spitting blood out onto the ground, “Little one, you are the best thing I have ever created. The one thing I value above all else. Out of everything I’ve accomplished, your birth surpassed them all.” He coughed again, then reached under his shirt, pulling out a vial filled with blue liquid attached to a chain. Taking it off, he pulled my hands from his stomach and placed it in my hand, closing my fingers around it, “Take this. It’s the last of the Pym particles. I found it at Tony’s old lake house a few weeks ago. If you can make it to the machine, you can go back and stop Thanos. Stop the destruction of this world from happening.”

“I need you with me,” I held his hand tightly as I put the necklace over my head. With my free hand, I ran my fingers through his silver-streaked hair, “Everyone I’ve ever known is gone. Please, I can’t lose you too.”

“You are stronger than you know, little one.” He reached up and cupped my cheek, “You can save them. You can save everyone. Stopping Thanos, that will undo everything that happened the past 150 years. But if you go back, there is no returning. This is a one-way trip, Jojo.”

As he coughed up more blood, I tried not to sob, “What happens to me if I do this?”

“Tony could explain it better than I ever could.” His eyes grew dim, his breathing raspy, “I don’t have much time. You will be fine. As long as you are safe, I can rest easy in Valhalla knowing that you will be taken care of.”

“Daddy, don’t go,” I fell on top of him, my face pressed into his shoulder as tears streamed faster down my face.

“I love you daughter, always remember…” his voice trailed off as he stopped breathing

Clutching his shirt in my hands, I sobbed against him. We were hidden fairly well. I had managed to carry him far enough away from the fighting that no one should find us. But still, I tried to keep quiet, not screaming into the night as I wanted.

After several minutes, I sat up and wiped my eyes, trying to compose myself. My only remaining family was gone. I had no one left. The only thing I could do now was to try and honor my father’s dying wish, to go back and stop Thanos from obliterating half of the universe. Before I stood to leave, I took of my father’s wedding ring, sliding it onto my necklace that also contained my mother’s ring. Then, I grabbed Stormbreaker as well as Thor’s back sheath for it and stood.

Twirling the heavy ax in my hand, I sauntered toward the base surrounding the old Avengers building. After it had been destroyed by Thanos, and most of the original Avengers retired or dead, it had been rebuilt. Becoming both a museum to those who had fallen saving the Earth, and headquarters to a new group of superheroes. But when the Kree had come to enslave the human race, they had first killed all the remaining heroes, with the exception of Thor who happened to be off-world at the time, and my grandfather who had hidden the Iron Man suit. They had set up their base camp surrounding the Avengers building, cutting off the last bit of hope we had left.

However, during the Kree occupation, a resistance formed and found a way into the building. We didn’t use it often, because it still required us to pass by the Kree without being noticed. Luckily, once we made it to the tunnel, no Kree occupied the building. It wasn’t technologically advanced enough for them. Not when they arrived in 2080, and not ninety-two years later. My only hope was that the machine would still be functional and that the power in the building still turned on.

As I neared the base, I stopped and crouched behind concrete barriers. This base was heavily occupied by Kree, but the area where the tunnel opening only had a few on patrol. It was behind three fences, each patrolled round the clock. They didn’t feel the need to keep more Kree near an area that held nothing of importance to them.

I waited until the patrol had passed, then slipped through holes that had been hidden in the fence. Once through the fence, I paused behind another barrier, looking to see if I saw any more Kree. When they were all gone, I ran as fast as I could to the entrance of the tunnel. Slipping inside, I shut the door quietly and leaned against it. Rigorous training made it so I wasn’t out of breath from running, but I still waited near the door just in case anyone saw me and followed me in.

Several minutes passed, the door didn’t open. Slipping Stormbreaker into its sheath, I jogged down the tunnel deep into the building. When I got to the stairs, I ran down to the lowest sub-basement floor and turned on the power for just that level. Then I took it slower, taking my time looking for what I needed. The machine sat in one of the storage areas, along with the suits needed to use the Pym particles.

I took the sheet off the machine and tried turning it on. When the hum of electricity kicked on, I sighed in relief. I went and grabbed one of the suits, slipping it on. It was either Natasha’s or Nebula’s, and way too tight for me to wear anything underneath. My frame carried more muscle on it because of my training, so I had to take off my clothes, leaving only my underwear on in order for it to fit. But my belt, the one that contained the remnants of the Iron Man suit Tony wore when he died as a belt buckle, I put that inside even though it was uncomfortable. Stormbreaker, I held in my hand.

Then I took off the necklace with the Pym particles, inserting it inside the suit. I entered in the only time and coordinates I knew onto the computer on my arm, from the stories my father had told me for so many years. All I could do was keep my fingers crossed that it would be enough. That it would give me enough time to kill Thanos.

Looking around, I took in one of my favorite places. This was the last time I would ever see it, so I wanted to etch it into my memory. A thought occurred to me and I moved to another storage box. Opening it up, I took out Steve’s shield, the one he had transferred to Sam. Every little bit would help me defeat Thanos. I may be the daughter of a god, but I didn’t receive any powers that would assist me. The only thing I got was slightly increased strength and speed.

Pressing the button for the machine, I hurried to the platform and took a deep breath as it prepared to send me back. As it hummed, I sent a prayer to one of the only gods I believed in, “Odin, if you are listening from Valhalla, please grant me safe passage. Please don’t let this trip be in vain.”


	2. Wakanda

2018

When I appeared in the forest, the sound of fighting all around me, I knew I had made it to Wakanda. I pressed the button on my helmet, opening it to allow me to breathe fresh air. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I had never breathed air that didn’t taste of pollution and death. In my lifetime, I have never seen this much green, nor did my world have forests. The Kree had decimated them for their resources. When I opened them again, I looked around and ran toward where I knew Thanos would be. Or at least, where Thor had told me Thanos would be.

It didn’t take me long to get there. As I ran toward them, I saw Thanos rip the stone from Vision’s head and insert it into the gauntlet. Lightning shot down at him and Thor came crashing out of the sky, shoving Stormbreaker deep into his chest. I was almost there, I just needed a few more seconds.

Thor reached and put his hand behind Thanos’s head to ensure he looked in his eyes, “I told you, you die for that.” He pressed on the butt of Stormbreaker, shoving it deeper into his chest.

Thanos screamed in agony. His voice came out raspy, “You should have gone for the head.”

As his hand reached up to snap, I was close enough that I could get to them. Before he could snap his fingers, I dropped the shield and swung my Stormbreaker, slicing off his arm. It fell to the ground, the stones going dark. As Thor backed up, eyes wide, I lifted Stormbreaker and smiled evilly at Thanos, “Don’t worry, I’ll go for your head.” Then I swung as hard as I could, the ax slicing through his neck with ease.

His body fell to the ground, head rolling off to one side. Thor continued to stare at me, his eyes switching between the blood-soaked Stormbreaker in my hand, to Steve’s shield that I picked back up, then to me. He walked over to Thanos, placed his foot on his torso, ripping Stormbreaker out. Holding it up, he frowned at me, “Who are you? Why do you have a duplicate of my ax?”

Several others came running toward us. Wanda still knelt on the ground near Vision, crying and holding his body to her chest. When I saw Steve and Bucky, I dropped the shield and Stormbreaker to the ground, holding up my hands. I had done what I came to do, stop Thanos. Sighing, I looked at Thor, my heart shattering into a million pieces. More than anything I wanted to embrace my father, but he had no idea who I was. Nor was he truly my father, not yet.

Bucky stood to one side, his gun pointed directly at me. I looked over at him, “You mind pointing that elsewhere? I don’t feel like getting caught by a stray bullet. You’re a master marksman, Barnes, I know you wouldn’t miss.”

Steve walked closer and saw the shield on the ground. He looked at it for several seconds before moving his eyes to me, “Who are you?”

I sighed again, “Does it matter? I just saved the world, a thank you would be nice.”

He took another step closer, the expression on his face menacing, “You didn’t answer the question. Who. Are. You?”

Before he could get any closer, I stepped on the shield so it launched into the air, catching it with my arm. Bucky fired off a shot and I used the shield to block its path. When Steve came at me, I ducked underneath his attempt to hit me and rolled to the side, grabbing Stormbreaker in the same instant. I laughed, “I’ve been trained by the best. Subjugated under cruel masters for nearly thirty-three years. You do not scare me, Steven Grant Rogers, even if you are a super-soldier.” I looked at Bucky, “Nor do you, James Buchanan Barnes. Your time as the Winter Soldier may have made you stronger, but it does not define who you are as a person.”

Bucky’s gun lowered, “How did you…”

Turning to Thor, my gaze softened, “Thor Odinson, I’m sorry for the loss of your brother. My greatest regret in life is that I never got a chance to know my unc… That I never got a chance to know him.”

They all lowered their weapons, staring at me in disbelief. As they did that, so did I. The Avengers were all dead long before I was born, so I had never gotten to meet any of them, other than my father. But the monuments to them had shown me what it meant to be a hero. They were the reason that I led the resistance. The reason that I stood up to the tyranny of the Kree.

At thoughts of the resistance, I dropped to my knees, the shield and Stormbreaker falling to the ground. Tears streamed down my face. With Thanos dead, none of my past, my history, would come to pass. My friends, family, they would never exist. But when I didn’t disappear, I was even more confused. I did know one thing about this time, the machine didn’t exist yet. And without it, I couldn’t get back home even if it were possible to return to a timeline that would no longer happen. Not that there was anything left for me to go back to.

When I looked up, they had gathered my shield and my Stormbreaker. Bucky pointed the gun at me again, even though he didn’t look happy to be doing it. Steve spoke softly, “You killed Thanos, and for that we’re grateful. But we don’t know you. You’re going to need to come with us.”

I forced myself up and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I lifted my arms, putting them behind my head, “Fine. Take me to whoever is in charge.”

They put me in a cell in Wakanda, behind a force field. I sat there in only my underwear because they had made me take off the suit, just in case it held more weapons. When they saw Tony’s dead reactor attached to my belt, they took it from me. But they left me my parent's wedding bands on the chain around my neck. If they had tried to take those, I would have fought them with every last breath in my body.

Natasha was the only one left after I took off the suit, frowning when I wouldn’t put on the clothes she had given me. I shrugged, “Prisoners don’t get comforts.”

“You’re not a…” she stopped before finishing the sentence.

I just sat down on the bed, wearing only the sports bra and panties I had been wearing when I arrived. Crossing my legs under me, I rested my hands on my knees, palms up and closed my eyes. I spoke softly, “When you have determined my threat level, Natasha Romanoff, and have decided I am safe to release, you can say I’m not a prisoner. But until then, I will sit here and wait.”

She left the clothes on the floor of the cell and shut the force field, leaving the room. I sat like that for hours, trying to remain calm. People came and went, but I never opened my eyes. I didn’t want to know who watched me.

But when a throat cleared, I opened my eyes and saw Bucky standing there, staring at me. I smiled. He was more handsome than the mural had made him out to be, “Mr. Barnes, so good of you to come and visit me. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Who are you?”

“What, no pleasantries?” I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look into his gorgeous blue eyes. I knew I would tell him everything if he only asked, “Why should I tell you anything?”

When he didn’t reply, I grew curious and opened my eyes. He grinned, “That’s better.” He nodded at the clothes on the ground, “You know, you can get dressed. We won’t stop you from feeling comfortable.”

I laughed, “I’ve been enslaved my entire life, Mr. Barnes. You learn to not have any inhibitions when you are forced to be naked around others for large portions of time.”

“Enslaved?” he asked softly, his eyes looked sad.

“It’s a long story, Barnes. One I really don’t want to talk about.” I leaned against the wall, trying to keep my voice calm, “You guys have given me no reason to trust you. I kill Thanos, stop him from obliterating half the universe, and you lock me up. Why should I tell you anything?”

“If it were up to me, I would let you go.”

“But it’s not, is it?” I took a moment to collect my thoughts. Then I had an idea, one that might help me get at least someone on my side, “Would you like to hear a story, Bucky?”

He gave me a weird look, “Story?”

“Come here, sit beside me,” I patted the metal bed next to me. “I’ll tell you the story of your future.”

Eyebrows furrowed, he crossed his arms, “I don’t think I’m allowed to do that.”

“Are there guards outside the door?” He nodded and I smiled, “Give them your gun, then come here. I promise not to bite unless you ask me nicely.” Sighing, I shut my eyes, “I’d like to tell you this story, but if you don’t want to hear it, I’ll just sit here until someone comes to let me out.”

A few seconds passed and I heard the force field lower. My eyes opened to see Bucky standing just outside the cell, his gun gone, “Can I trust you?”

“I swear on the only thing I have, my life, that I will do nothing to harm you. If I even attempt it, whoever is listening can feel free to end my miserable existence.”

He walked over and sat down next to me, “Alright.”

I turned to face him, legs crossed underneath me, “This is the story of a girl who thought she could save the world.”

“I thought it was going to be about my future?”

Glaring, I pursed my lips, “I’m getting there. Now, hush.” Smiling to soften my harsh tone, I continued, “The year is 2018. After the snap, half of the Earth’s population disappeared in an instant, including yourself. But that wasn’t the worst part. When people disappeared in the snap, there were casualties other than those that Thanos ended. When pilots disappeared, planes crashed, killing all those left onboard and people on the ground. Cars, trains, fires, robberies… More people died than the fifty percent that Thanos intended.”

“The world went to shit. Economies collapsed, governments fell.” I sighed, “Even though the Avengers were split up because of petty bullshit, they pulled together to help rebuild the world, bring order to the chaos. At least for a little while, before the petty bullshit tore them apart again. Then, in 2023, the Avengers figured out how to bring everyone back that was lost in the snap. Not those who died after, but those who died because of it. They went back in time, got the stones, and using a new gauntlet, Bruce brought everyone forward five years.”

“I’m confused,” his eyes searched mine. “This hasn’t happened.”

“That’s why it’s just a story, Bucky.” I laid my hand on top of his for a brief moment, “After the blip, as it became known, Thanos from 2014 came and tried to get the stones again. Tony sacrificed himself, using the gauntlet to get rid of Thanos and his army. When the battle ended, there was only one original Avenger left, Thor.”

“What happened to the others?” his voice was barely a whisper.

“Natasha died going to get the soul stone, Bruce was handicapped by the gauntlet when he brought everyone back, Tony died, Clint retired to be with his family, and Steve decided to be selfish.”

“Selfish?”

“He was charged with taking the stones back to their original time. Instead of returning to his friends, his family… he decided that he would stay with Peggy.” My fingers twisted together. This story had always made me both sad and angry. Angry at Steve for being so selfish when people needed him, and sad for those that lost him, “He lost so many people during the war with Thanos. You were gone for five years because of the snap, Tony died destroying Thanos’s army, Natasha sacrificed herself so Clint's family wouldn't lose him… My theory is that he went back for second best. If he couldn’t have the woman he truly loved, he would take the only one that could love him.”

“I can’t picture Steve doing that.”

“Have you seen his compass?” I looked up, staring into his brilliant blue eyes, “He has a picture of Peggy inside. But it doesn’t matter if you believe he would do that, because this is just a story. As you said, it hasn’t happened.” Looking back down, I sighed again, “He showed up as an old man, giving Sam the shield, making him Captain America. But if you think that the world had a hard time after the snap, it was just as bad after the blip.”

“Billions of people came back in an instant to a world which had moved on without them. But this time, there were no Avengers to help right the world. It took seven years of chaos before the next world war happened. In the initial attack, 15% of the world was killed. Over the next twenty-five years, the population dwindled to below twenty million people due to radiation and nuclear winter."

“In 2080, the world was attacked by invaders. There weren’t enough people to fight them, and they won, enslaving the human race. They killed all the remaining heroes, making it so there would be no one to stop them.” My eyes filled with tears and I wiped the few that fell, “Eighteen years it took for a resistance to form. In 2111, the little girl’s mother became the leader of the resistance at the age of eighteen. She was the fiercest leader they had ever known. So much so, that a god took notice and fell in love with her.”

“A god?” he sounded confused.

“That’s another story.” I still didn’t look up, not wanting him to see my red-rimmed eyes, “In 2139, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Half-human, half-god. Although, the little girl didn’t truly gain anything from the union other than somewhat enhanced abilities. The following year, her mother was executed for her part in the destruction of an important military facility.”

“The little girl grew up hearing stories about the heroes her father had known, hearing stories about the brave and selfless mother she never got to know.” By this point, tears streamed down my face. Bucky had grabbed my hand holding onto it tightly, trying to offer me comfort, “She fought with everything she had, and at the age of twenty-six, she became the leader of the resistance. But she was too reckless, and by 2172 she had lost almost everyone she had ever known. All that was left of the resistance were a few good men, herself, and her father.”

Using my other hand, I wiped at the tears. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down, “They decided to make one last attempt to regain the last true beacon of hope. The rebuilt Avengers facility that had been taken over by the invaders. They had surrounded the facility, keeping the memorial inside hidden for over a century. In this last-ditch effort, the little girl lost her father. Never a mere mortal, he shouldn’t have been able to be ended by such a mundane death, but he was. She watched as the life left her father’s eyes, listening to his final words.”

I fingered my parent’s wedding rings, “The little girl grabbed her father’s weapon and made her way into the Avenger’s facility, intent on fixing the mistakes of the past.” I paused, not wanting to tell him anymore. But still, I continued, “Using forgotten technology, she traveled back to the past to change the future that plagued the Earth. She could never return home, stuck in a place where she was unwanted. Doomed to die in a time not her own.”

As I took a deep breath, he placed a finger under my head and tipped my face so he could look into my eyes, “Are you that girl?”

Giving him a soft smile, I simply said, “It’s just a story, Bucky. That’s all. There’s nothing more to it than that. Plus, time travel isn't possible.”

He took a deep breath, “I thought you were going to tell me about my story?”

“You disappeared in the snap for five years. After Steve gave up and stayed in the past, you and Sam joined forces. At least, until Sam died in an accident after less than a decade as Captain America.” I looked away from him, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes, “You retired to Wakanda, living your remaining days in solitude. You never married, never had any children. I don’t know why you chose to lead a solitary life, but you did.”

The door opened and Steve walked in. He glared at both of us, “Bucky, you shouldn’t be in there with her.” As Bucky stood, Steve continued to glare at me, “Leave us.”

I turned on the bed, placing my feet on the floor. Once Bucky had left the room, Steve put the force field back up and I laughed, “Are you truly scared of me, Steve? Of a half-naked girl?”

“That story you told Bucky,” he crossed his arms over his chest. “Why did you tell him those things? Why did you lie to him?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” I eyed him up and down, “Now, care to tell me why you have decided to grace me with your presence?”

“I have some questions.” He looked down at the clothes, “Get dressed.”

I laughed, throwing my head back, “Just to make you more comfortable? No.”

Steve shut his eyes and sighed, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You are more stubborn than Tasha.” When he opened his eyes again, he looked resigned, “Fine. But I still need you to answer my questions.”

“Ask away, your highness.”

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as he tried to hide a smile, “What is your name?”

“Josephine. My father called me Jojo, my friends Jo. But you may call me Josephine.”

“Josephine…”

I knew what he was waiting for, but I couldn’t tell him my full name, “Just Josephine.”

“Well, just Josephine, why are you here?”

“To kill Thanos. That is it, nothing more.” When his eyes narrowed, I sighed, “That is the honest truth, Steve. I may not tell you the complete truth about other things, but I will not lie. About this, it is the entire truth. When my father died, he asked me to come and fix things. I came here with the sole purpose of defeating Thanos.”

“Thor was…”

“Thor did his best, but Thanos would have been able to complete the snap before death. All I did was stop him, nothing more. Now, what else would you like to ask me?”

“The shield you had, it looks like mine. But there are names carved inside. Mine, Sam’s, and a couple of others that I don’t recognize.” He took a step closer to the force field, “Why does it look like my shield? Why does it have names inside?”

I sighed and turned away, laying down on the bed. I intertwined my fingers together on my stomach and stared at the ceiling, “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?” When I didn’t answer, he tried another, “Why do you have a belt buckle that looks like Tony’s arc reactor?” I didn’t respond, “Where are you from?”

“That’s an easy one,” I turned my head slightly to look at him. “I’m from New York. Same as my mother and the rest of my family, all the way to my great-great-great-grandfather.” Swinging my legs over the bed, I stood and walked up to the force field. Steve’s eyes looked me up and down, but they didn’t linger long before looking me in the eyes again. I smiled, “How long do you intend to keep me locked up, Captain Rogers? You have my shield, my ax… what could I possibly do to you? You have armed guards outside the door, not to mention the other Avengers.”

The door opened and another person walked in. I looked over at him and gave him a huge smile, “King T’Challa, it’s good to finally meet you.”

Steve said softly, “This is why I’m keeping you locked up.”

My eyebrows raised, “Is my knowledge of who you are bothering you, Rogers? Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Miss Josephine, will you please put on the clothing? I would like to take you out of here, but I can’t unless you are dressed,” T’Challa said, his voice neutral.

Bending down, I picked up the leggings and tank top, putting them on. When Steve sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, I chuckled, “You should try being nicer, Rogers. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” I turned to T’Challa, “How do you know I won’t try something once you let me out of here?”

“I choose to believe that someone who would destroy Thanos is on our side.” He pressed the panel next to the force field and it lowered, “Come, I would like my sister to look you over before they take you to New York.”

He turned and walked out of the room. Steve stared at me and I stared back. We stood like that for several seconds, before I wrenched my eyes away from his and followed T’Challa out of the room. Two guards fell into step beside me, and with Steve behind me, I knew there was no way I could escape. Not that I had any desire to do so.

We walked down several hallways until reaching a room that had to be Shuri’s laboratory. Bruce stood there talking with her until we walked in. Their heads swiveled in my direction. Bruce looked anxious, Shuri excited.

Shuri bounded over to me, “Another broken white person for me to fix? Brother, you do know how to make a girl happy.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. Her words were so joyous, they pierced through my anguish, “Miss Shuri, out of everyone I’ve met today, I get the most pleasure meeting you.” I held out my hand for her to shake. When she just looked at me confused, I let the hand fall to my side, “Your brother said that you wanted to look me over?”

“Please, have a seat on the table.” She gestured to the metal table next to Bruce. I hopped up, trying not to look scary. She walked over to me, “So, how did you do it?”

“Excuse me?”

“How did you kill Thanos?” She picked up a device and started scanning me, “All these colonizers coming to my country to stop a giant purple raisin-headed man. And a small white girl killed him. How did you do it?”

My hands clenched into fists, and I tried my best not to get angry at her for talking like that. My voice dripped with venom, “Princess Shuri, do you know what it’s like to be a slave?”

“My people…” she started to say.

I hopped off the bed and she took a step back. The guards lowered their spears toward me, but when I didn’t move any closer to Shuri, they just stood there. I took off my shirt and turned around, ignoring their gasps, “I’ve spent my entire life enslaved. When we disobeyed, or if they even thought we were going to disobey, they would beat us.” Turning around, I didn’t bother putting the shirt on. Shuri’s eyes were wide, “I know what it’s like to be a slave. Your people have been hidden behind this force field for I don’t even know how long. Don’t pretend like you know what it’s like.”

Putting the shirt back on, I turned to T’Challa, “Thank you for your hospitality. But I’m tired. Could you take me back to my cell?”

“We may not have been slaves in recent history, Josephine, but my ancestors were slaves,” he said softly.

“My ancestors were slaves. I was a slave.” I took a step closer to T’Challa, not caring that a spear was only inches from my flesh, “You come from a background of privilege, King T’Challa. Your people may have been slaves generations ago, but they are not today. You were born a prince. You don’t know what true subjugation is. You don’t know what it’s like to see people whipped to death, their backs so bloody it looks like raw meat. You don’t know what it’s like to have your family, your friends, ripped away from you in the night because they are feared to be a part of the resistance.”

“There are no white slaves, while people of color are still treated as such in certain parts of the world,” his voice remained calm. “There have been no white slaves on Earth in hundreds of years. So I don’t know what game you’re playing, but it’s not welcome here.”

I sighed, “Of course you don’t believe me. Fine, take me to my cell. Or better yet, kill me. I could be dangerous.” I took another step forward, forcing the guard to back up so his spear didn’t pierce my stomach, “I could kill you without blinking King T’Challa. The only reason I don’t is that because I know, deep under that pompous self-righteous attitude, that you are a good man who cares about the fate of his people.”

T’Challa closed his eyes briefly, and turned to Steve, “You should take her now. When you find out why she is making up stories, please let me know. But I cannot justify keeping her locked up when all she has done is kill the most wanted man in the galaxy.”

“Brother,” Shuri said softly.

“No,” he said definitively. Then he turned to look at me one last time, “Josephine, I hope that you don’t continue to falsify your history for too much longer. Not everyone will be as forgiving as I am.”

He turned and left the room, making Shuri go with him. Only Bruce and Steve were left in the room. Steve turned to me, “Come on, let’s go to the plane. Keep you out of sight of T’Challa.” He sighed, “Bruce, can you gather everyone else up so we can leave?”

“Uh, sure, but are you positive she’s…”

“Not now, Bruce. Just get everyone to the plane. We leave in thirty minutes.”


	3. Introductions

The ride to New York took less time than I expected. Everyone slept for the duration of the flight, except me and Steve. He kept his eyes on me the entire five hours we were in the air, arms crossed over his chest. I leaned back, keeping my eyes closed. Although, every time I opened them, he was still looking at me.

When we landed and walked off the plane, Steve carried both shields and Thor carried both axes. Natasha kept one hand on my arm, probably thinking that that would keep me contained. Unfortunately for her, I could break out of her grip in an instant. I just chose not to.

When we finally made it inside the facility to an area that looked like it was half kitchen, half living room, I saw Tony sitting on a couch drinking some kind of liquor. He looked over at the group of us walking in and raised the glass, “So, I hear you guys defeated Thanos?”

“We did not defeat Thanos,” Thor said softly. “Josephine did.”

Tony looked at me, a curious expression on his face, “And you must be Josephine.” I nodded and he looked at me, eyes narrowed. Turning to Thor, he said, “When did you have a kid?”

I’m pretty sure the blood drained out of my face because a smile crept onto Tony’s face. Thor sounded confused, “What do you mean?”

“You’re back, finally,” a feminine voice said. A blonde woman walked into the room, and I realized she must be Pepper. She looked us all over, stopping on me, “Is she why you don’t want children, Tony? Because I have to say, I’m not surprised to find out you have an illegitimate child.”

“Uh, Pepper,” Tony kept looking at me.

She just ignored him, “Seriously, you could have told me you had a kid. I would have wanted to meet her had you ever bothered to tell me, but…”

“Pepper, I don’t have any children. Not that I know about anyway.”

I was starting to feel a little lightheaded. My voice came out hoarse, “Tony’s not my father. He’s too young. I’m almost thirty-three.”

“That would have made me…” he touched each finger on one hand to his thumb, “sixteen.”

“She’s obviously related to you somehow,” Pepper said. “Do you have a sister you don’t know about or…”

Everyone turned to look at me. Clint broke the tension in the room by chuckling, “So, Tony and Thor, is there something you want to tell us? Did you two…” he made a circle with one hand and thrust a finger from the other hand in and out of it.

“I know not of what you speak, Clint,” Thor said. His brow furrowed in confusion, “She is no child of mine. I have fathered no children.”

My face fell at his words. While he wasn’t truly my father, it still hurt to hear those words come out of his mouth, “Do you really want to know the truth?” A few heads nodded, and I brought a hand up to my face to cover my eyes, “First, I'm assuming that you brought a copy of the security footage from my cell in Wakanda. If you didn’t this will be more difficult.”

Steve said, “Yes, we did. Figured we might learn something about you from it.”

“Good. Go and watch it, then come to me with any questions.”

Tony gave me a weird look, “Why don't you just tell us? Wouldn’t that be easier?”

“Because I've already told Bucky once, and I really don't feel like going through all that again.” I sighed, “I didn't tell him everything, but I told him most of it. Just... go and watch the security footage.”

When they all cleared out, I sat down on the couch. Bucky was the only one who stayed, as he had actually been the one I told my story to. He sat down next to me, “I thought you said it was just a story.”

“It is just a story,” I said softly. “It’s my story. I couldn’t tell you that it was real. What would you have thought? There’s no way you would have believed me.” I stared forward, not wanting to look at the range of emotions crossing his face, “You would have thought I was crazy. I really didn't want everyone to think I am insane. Although, I'm sure that they're going to come back and think that anyway.”

“You said that you're a child of a god?” I nodded. His eyes narrowed, “You also said that you took your father’s weapon when you left?” I nodded again and he smiled, “I think I figured it out.”

“Figured what out, Bucky?” Steve said as they came back into the room.

I looked at their faces as they took seats on the chairs and couches in the room. Tony looked contemplative, almost as if he wasn’t sure whether to believe me or not, but it looked like my story had struck a chord with him. He took a seat on the coffee table in front of me, staring into my eyes.  “Alright,” he said after several seconds. “Start at the beginning. You’re from the year 2172?” 

I nodded, “Yes.”

“And who are these invaders that took over Earth, enslaving the human race?” 

“The Kree.”

“Who the hell are the Kree?” Bucky asked.

“Do you guys know who Carol Danvers is?” They all shook their heads and I sighed, “Well, fuck. It's going to be a lot harder to explain if you don't know Carol. I guess you guys must have met her after the snap, not before.” I looked into Tony’s eyes, “I know you guys are all curious, so before you all break out into questions about my past, your future, and all that, I’ll tell you who I am.”

“My mother’s name was Florence. Her father was James, his father Anthony, and his mother Morgan.” Looking down at my hands, I took a deep breath, “Morgan was born in the year 2019, after the snap. Her full name, Morgan Natalia Stark.” A couple of people gasped, “My full name is Josephine Eliza Stark Thorsdottir.”

Tony’s eyes widened, “Wait, so you're telling me that my however many greats granddaughter slept with Thor?”

I pulled out my necklace with my parents' wedding bands, “No, I'm saying he married her. She was the fiercest warrior he had ever met, and that's saying a lot considering you guys are the Avengers and have saved the world multiple times over. She was leading the resistance, the Howling Commandos…”

Steve interrupted me, “The Howling Commandos? That was our unit back in World War II when we went after HYDRA and the Red Skull.”

“Yes, it was. There's a reason that it was called the Howling Commandos.” I gave Bucky a quick glance and he gave me a reassuring smile, “The Kree were very much like HYDRA, killing those who disagreed with them. My grandfather had heard stories of the Avengers and the Howling Commandos for years. So when the Kree came and the resistance formed, that's what he named it. He often told your story to them, the story of Steve and Bucky. You guys were his inspiration. To be honest, you guys were my inspiration too. My father told me stories about the heroes he had known. They are what pushed me to fight for freedom.”

I looked over at Thor, who look extremely uncomfortable, “Don't worry, I know you're not really my father. I don't expect any family bonding to happen. However, I truly am sorry about the death of Loki. My father used to tell me stories about him. Remembering them… it just makes me sad that I never got to meet him. I know the love you feel for him runs deep.” My eyes moved back to my hands, “While we’re talking about family, you guys don't have to call me Josephine. The only people who called me Josephine were my captors. My father called me Jojo and my friends called me Jo.”

Bruce spoke up, “So, when you showed us your back in Shuri's lab, showed us the crisscrossed scars, those were from...?”

“The beatings the Kree would give me when I wouldn't do exactly as they said. They found that corporal punishment works best in most situations. It didn't make us do anything faster or better, it just made us less likely to resist.”  Steve and Bruce were the only ones that had seen the scars, so I stood and lifted up the back of my shirt, turning slowly so everyone could see. I heard Pepper gasp as I sat back down next to Bucky. “I didn't show you those scars to try to get sympathy from you, and I'm not here to try to invade your lives. I came to do one thing, and I did it.”

Tony said, “If you can tell me about this machine, maybe we can build it and you can go home. I’m assuming that I...”

I choked out a laugh, “Go home? To what? My mother is dead, the resistance is dead, all of my friends are dead, and my father is dead. The only thing you would be sending me back to his a life of servitude. I would rather die.”

“We’re not sending you back to that,” Natasha’s voice was hard.

Steve gave her a look, “She doesn't belong in our time.”

Natasha turned to him, an evil glare in her eyes, “Are you fucking kidding me right now? She's saved our lives. From what I understand, you just gave up, Steve. You ran away from your problems, instead of staying to face them.”

Steve turned away and said softly, “From what I understand Natasha, you were dead. What reason would I have to stay?”

“Look,” I sighed, “nothing that happened in my future is going to come to pass now. At least not the parts that involve Thanos and the world collapsing into anarchy and the heroes all dying, etcetera. I don't know if the Kree are still going to come in 2080 or not, but I do know that World War 3 will not happen.” 

I tried not to sound as exhausted as I felt, “The only reason it happened is that when billions of people came back, no one knew how to react and everything went to shit. Since the Avengers were all gone, they had a hard time reintegrating everyone into society and war broke out. Death and destruction is all you get from nuclear war, nothing else.” I looked at each one of them, “Look, either kill me now, or put me out onto the street, but do something. I know that my story sounds implausible, and I don't blame you for not believing me.”

Tony held up a hand, “I believe you. If for no other reason then you came back with Thor's ax and Steve shield, and yet they still have theirs. You can tell by looking at them that they are old.”

Steve said, “I don't know Tony, maybe she's from an alternate universe. I mean, Dr. Strange did say that there is a multiverse.”

"Test my blood. You'll see that I am a descendant of Tony, Pepper, and Thor.” I sighed, “What reason do I have to lie about this? I mean, what else could I possibly tell you guys that will make you believe me? What information about your lives, do you want me to tell you in order to prove I know things that no one should know?” I turned to Clint, “What about your family? Your third child, Nathaniel Pietro, named after the two people who have saved his father. Natasha and Pietro.”

I turned to Tony, “How about the fact that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. No one besides you guys should even know that. If my math is correct, he should still be in high school right now. Honestly, I don't care if you believe me or not. Just tell me what you're going to do with me so I can think about something else. Because honestly, I have nothing in my life, so there's not much you could do to me that's going to hurt me.”

Pepper looked at me I gave me a soft smile, “Well, I don't know if your story is true or not. But if it is, I look forward to getting to know my granddaughter. I don't have any say in what they'll do with you, because I'm not a member of the Avengers…”

Tony interrupted, “Yes, you are.”

Pepper gave him the stink eye, “No, I'm not.”

“Actually, you were. At least during the second war against Thanos,” I said. “After the snap, Tony was bored and built a suit for you. When Thanos came back, you joined the battle against him.”

“Well, I'm not part of the Avengers right now. But, if they turn you out onto the street I will pay for you to have a place to live until you can stand on your own two feet.” When Tony started to speak, she held up a hand, “I am CEO of Stark industries, I can afford it.”

Steve sighed, “We're not going to turn her out on the street. If she is who she says she is, she can't be allowed to roam free.”

“Are you just going to keep her here, as a prisoner?” Wanda asked quietly. “Didn't we have this discussion when you guys locked me up? Just because there are hundreds of acres of land and a lap pool, doesn't mean this place wouldn’t be a prison. You can dress it up and call it what you will, but forcing someone to stay here is exactly like prison. I would know.”

“Guys, don't fight over me.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned, “You need to get over whatever petty bullshit split you guys up in the first place. But please, don’t add me to the reason you guys bicker and fight.” I looked at Wanda, my voice softening, “I don't mind staying here. It’s not like I know this world. And having hundreds of acres of living plants is more than I ever had back home. I do know one thing, however, I'm not going home even if you devise a way for me to return. I literally have nothing left, no friends, no family. And I am not going to go back to living under the thumb of the Kree.”

Natasha stood, gesturing for me to follow her, “Come on, there's an extra room that you can stay in.” She led me away from the group and I could hear them talking, “We will need to go shopping to get you some clothes because I'm pretty sure you don't want to walk around barefoot all the time. But for now, at least you’ll have a place to sleep.”

She pushed open a door to a bedroom that was three times the size of where I slept. As a house servant, I had my own quarters. It fit a small bed and a chest to store my clothes, nothing more. This room… it had a bed that was three times the size of mine which only took up a small fraction of the space.

Walking over to the dresser, she pulled open the drawers, “This was my room for a while. I think I still have…” When she got to the bottom drawer, she said, “Ah ha, I did leave some things here.” She pulled me over to the dresser, “It’s just leggings and shirts, a couple of sports bras, but it should fit you. You look to be about the same size as me.”

“Thanks, Natasha.”

“Please, it’s nothing.” She turned to me, her expression full of pity, “I know a little about being treated like an animal. I won’t allow that to happen to you. If you need anything, anything at all, my room is down the hall. Each apartment has the name of the person who lives there on the door.” Walking to the door, she pulled me with her and pointed to another door, “The bathroom is just across the hall. It’s shared, but it’s set up so multiple people can use it at once. There’s soap in the showers, and it’s even the good stuff. Tony wouldn’t stand for anything less.”

“Thanks again.”

“Seriously, Jo, if you need anything…”

I pushed her out the door and yawned, “I’ll find you. I don’t mean to be rude, but I didn’t sleep on the plane and I’ve been awake for probably thirty hours straight.”

“I’ll go,” she gave me one last look. “And Jo, you can call me Nat or Tasha, if you want.”

“Do you have a preference?” I smirked, “I mean, I know Steve calls you Tasha.”

Her face pinkened, “He’s the only one. Everyone else calls me Nat.”

“Well then, Nat. I promise I’ll come and find you if I need anything. But right now, I need sleep.”


	4. Trying to be Strong

_ A hand grabbed my arm, gripping it tight. A man dragged me out of my room, “If you won’t do as we say, there are consequences.” _

_ He continued to drag me outside until we reached the pole that had been erected exactly for just this purpose. Placing me against it face first, he lifted my hands up and tied them, forcing me to stand on my toes. When he ripped the back of my nightgown open, I knew this time it was going to be bad. _

_ A crowd had gathered, both Kree and human. The humans looked at me with a mixture of pity for what they knew was coming, and relief that it wasn’t them. The Kree all had the same expression on their face, loathing. The Kree hated us, with every fiber of their being. They just tolerated us because we were easy labor. _

_ The Kree captain took a step back and I heard his weapon lengthen. The Kree had these weapons that were made of some kind of metal not found on Earth. When collapsed, they were about the same size as a cigar. Once they pressed a button, it would lengthen into a three-foot-long baton. They used them to keep us in line. _

_ He chuckled, “This slave has been rebellious. She refused to do as I ask, give me what I deserve as her owner. For that, she gets twenty lashes.” The crowd gasped, even the Kree. The baton drew blood with every hit, that’s what it was designed for. Most offenses didn’t get more than five lashes. With twenty, I wouldn’t be able to do anything for weeks. He laughed and placed his mouth near my ear, “You should learn to mind your betters.” _

_ The first hit fell and I held my tongue. I always refused to scream, no matter how much it hurt me. Probably why he was giving me so many lashes. By the time he got to ten, I sagged against the pole. He leaned forward, pressing his back against my raw flesh, his clothes digging into my wounds, “If you don’t scream, I’ll add another ten lashes to your punishment. And they will be worse than the first twenty.” _

_ I turned my head slightly, “Do your worst.” _

A kick to my leg woke me from my dream. Looking up from my makeshift bed on the floor, I saw Sam standing there. He gave me an awkward smile, “Sorry, I knocked but you didn’t answer.” He nodded towards the bed, “Too soft?”

“Yeah.” I stood, grabbed the comforter, tossing it back onto the bed, “It’s the most comfortable thing I’ve ever felt. But my bed back home… back at my master’s home, was a metal frame with an inch thick foam mattress. This feels like…”

“Sleeping on a marshmallow.”

“Not sure what that is,” I said.

His eyes widened, “You’ve never had a marshmallow? Kid, you and I are going to have to broaden your horizons. But first, get dressed and I’ll take you around to try different beds. Everyone here likes different firmness for their mattress. So if we can figure out what you like, we can change yours out.” He went to the door, “I’ll be right outside while you get dressed.”

Once he left, I took off the clothes I had been wearing for way too long, putting on the ones that Natasha had told me I could use. Still didn’t have any shoes, but I would suffer without them. 

As I opened the door, Sam gave me a toothy grin, “First stop, Cap. He has the firmest bed, or at least he did at one point.” We walked down the hall, stopping in front of a door that said ‘Rogers.’ He knocked and Steve answered, wearing only a pair of sweatpants, “Cap, Jo’s bed is too soft. I’m taking her around to find one that is more her liking.”

“Steve, what’s going on?” Natasha said from inside the room.

Steve closed his eyes and sighed, “My bed will be too soft for her. I’ve gotten used to creature comforts. Take her to Bucky’s room. I’m pretty sure his mattress is the most firm.”

Leaning forward, Sam whispered loudly, “So, you and Nat?”

“I can hear you,” Natasha yelled.

“I know,” he laughed.

Steve sighed again, “It just happened. After everything that Jo told us…” He gave me a soft smile, “It made me realize… You know what, go away.” Steve laughed and shut the door on us.

Sam chuckled and pulled me further down the hall, “Always thought those crazy kids would get together. Ever since before the Buckster joined our merry band of assholes.”

We knocked on his door. Bucky answered, completely dressed. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared at Sam, “What?”

Sam gestured to me, “Jo’s bed is too soft. I’m having her test out…”

Bucky looked at me, his expression softening, “Come on in.” He moved out of the way so I could enter his apartment. It was the same size as mine, but his bed was on the floor instead of a bed frame. “Even with a firmer mattress, the bed was still too soft. This gives me the stiffness of the floor, without the ache of sleeping on a completely flat hard surface. Go ahead, try it out.”

I walked over to it and carefully climbed onto the bed. Laying down, I closed my eyes and just stayed motionless for a couple of minutes. 

Sam said, “You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?”

I opened my eyes and looked at Bucky, “This is a thousand times better. I’ve only slept on a thin mattress for my entire adult life, so I’m not used to soft things. Those were reserved for…” I shook my head, “It doesn’t matter.”

Bucky held out his hand, and I grabbed it, letting him help me up. “I’ll get yours changed out and I’ll have the frame taken out too. Trust me, putting it directly on the floor helps a lot.”

I looked back down at the bed, then up at him, “Thanks.” As we left Bucky’s room, I turned to Sam and grinned, “You up for a run?”

“Run? Girl, I haven’t had my breakfast yet.” He looked down at my feet, “And you have no shoes.”

We walked down the hallway, “I don’t need shoes. Running barefoot makes you faster. You shouldn’t run heel to toe, it’s bad for your knees. And I don’t eat breakfast, but I do run first thing in the morning.” When he groaned, I stopped and laughed, “It’s not my fault that you guys feel the need to shadow me everywhere. I am capable of…"

Sam held up his hands, "Don't lecture me, girl. I'm on your side. I just do what I'm told." He turned and headed to a door, "Come on. Let's run so I can eat."

Once we were outside, I stretched briefly and then started jogging. There was a sidewalk that ran through the acres of grass, winding around until it got back to the start. It was about a two-mile round trip.

After the first go-around, I sped up a little, curious of Sam could keep up with me. Slowly, over the second two miles, I got faster and faster until I began pulling away from him. He finally yelled from several feet behind me, "You're going to get me in trouble." I slowed down and let him catch up. His breathing came out fast, "Are we almost done?"

I jogged in place at the starting point, "I usually run for a much longer distance. Look, I'm not going anywhere, there is nowhere for me to escape to. Just stay here, I'll be finished in no time."

He fell onto the grass, putting an arm over his head, "Wake me when you're done."

I ran around the track faster than I had with Sam. Three more times around and I slowed, stopping by Sam. I kicked him in the leg, "I'm done."

He looked at his watch, "Time for food."

The rest of the day, I wandered around the facility. It looked so much like the place I had played in and explored as a child, but it was still so different. When I tried to wander down to the basement, a locked door stopped me. Instead of questioning it, I just went back upstairs.

I woke early, having slept extremely well. Having a firmer mattress on the floor had really helped me get a good night's rest. The bed felt softer than I was used to, but the firmness of the floor helped me feel more like I did before. Getting dressed, I headed outside to go for my run.

I was stretching when Clint joined me, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, nothing else. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, "The sun isn't even up yet."

Sighing, I turned to him, "Just sit there and watch. I'll be done in thirty minutes. But I'm not waiting for you to get ready so you can run with me. I run ten miles every morning at the same time. Thor… my father drilled into my head that keeping fit was the only way to win the war."

He said softly, "We're not at war."

"Maybe not, but I'm used to it." I turned and started running. When I completed the first circuit, I saw Clint sitting on the grass in a meditation pose. Four more laps and I stopped in front of Clint, "I'm done."

We went inside. After cleaning up, I couldn't help but feel useless. Everyone was doing something except me. So I fell back on what I knew, cleaning. I may have only cleaned before because I worked as a slave, but at least doing something made me feel like I was contributing. Not just living off their generosity.

I had Clint tell me where the laundry room was, then went room to room, gathering up everyone’s dirty laundry. He told me several times that I didn’t need to clean up after anyone. That everyone picked up after themselves. But I just ignored him, continuing on with what I was doing. Even doing that little made me feel better about taking up space in their facility.

About to go for my morning run, I opened my door to see Bucky standing there with bags in his hands. Taking a step back, I gestured for him to come in. He set the bags down on top of the dresser, “Nat went out and got you some clothes and shoes. So, now you’ll actually have something to wear on your feet when you run.”

I opened the bags, taking in what she had bought me. Taking them out of the bags, I sorted them into the drawers. The sneakers, I put on, jumping around a bit to see if they would be comfortable, “I’ll have to thank her. Running barefoot was starting to get tiresome.”

Bucky threw back his head, laughing, “So, you running around the track barefoot was to…”

Shrugging, I left the room and headed toward the outside. Once we got outside, I stretched and said, “I’ve run both barefoot and in shoes during my life. One is simply nicer than the other. But I’m not going to stop my daily routine simply because I do not have the necessary equipment to accomplish what I set out to do. I’ve done more with less.”

Bucky got into position to run with me, “I hear you do ten miles in thirty minutes.”

“About that.” I started a slow job, with Bucky by my side. “That’s my steady pace. I can run faster if need be.”

“There’s a good possibility you might be faster than Steve.”

I sped up, Bucky keeping up with me every step, “I am a child of a god. It doesn’t come with many perks, but being slightly more is one of them.” Moving faster, I pushed it until I realized Bucky couldn’t keep up. I slowed until I went at his top speed, “I don’t care if I’m faster than everyone, being half-god hasn’t given me anything in the long run.”

Stopping halfway through my run, I started walking back to the facility. I walked at a fast pace, not caring if Bucky followed me or not. When I got back to my room, I grabbed clean clothes and went into the bathroom. As I stripped, the door opened and Bucky walked in.

He laid a hand on my shoulder, “Jo…”

I shrugged out of his grasp and turned, impressed when his eyes never strayed to my naked body, “Being a half-god didn’t stop me from losing everything. Being a half-god didn’t stop my master from…” I shook my head, not wanting to admit what I had suffered through, “Being a half-god didn’t make it easier to fix my world. What good is being half-god, other than maybe being faster than Captain America?”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky pulled me into his arms, his hands rubbed my back.

As I breathed in his scent, I felt myself calm down. Something about him made me feel safe, secure. After several seconds, I pulled away and went into one of the showers, shutting the curtain so I couldn’t see him anymore. The water ran down my face, obscuring my tears. The stress of being in a different time from my own, away from everything that made my life my own overwhelmed me.

After several minutes, I heard as Bucky sighed on the other side of the shower curtain, “Are you alright, Jo?” I didn’t answer him, “Josephine, I know it’s hard being out of your own time. After losing my arm, again… I had Shuri put me in cryostasis until they could come up with a way to remove the trigger words from my head. With them still in place, I was a danger to everyone around me.”

I shut off the water, wrapping the towel around me. But still, I stayed in the shower. Bucky continued, “When she finally figured it out and woke me up, I felt more at peace than I had since joining the army. But still, when Thanos became an issue, Shuri gave me a new arm and I joined the battle against him.” He sighed, “I can’t completely understand what you are going through, but…”

I pushed open the shower curtain, “It’s fine, Bucky.”

“No, it’s not.” He reached up and cupped my cheek, “What can I do to help?”

“I just need to keep busy, that’s all.” I pushed past him, heading into my room. I knew he would follow, so I didn’t bother shutting the door. I just tossed my dirty clothes and towel onto the floor and got clean clothes out of the dresser.

The door shut and I knew he was in the room. “Jo,” he said softly. His hands grabbed my shoulders, turning me around. “You are allowed to have feelings. You are allowed to lean on someone other than yourself for support.”

I pulled away and put on my clothes. Only once I was dressed did I look at him again. Forcing a smile, I said, “I’m fine, Bucky.” Leaving the room, I went to the kitchen to start making breakfast for everyone. I knew that the rest of the team would start coming out of their rooms soon.

Having been in the facility for about a week, I had learned the routines of those around me. It had been something that helped me avoid too many beatings at the hands of the Kree, and here it made it so I could avoid forming relationships with the others. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get to know them, I just didn’t know what would happen to me. I couldn’t bear to lose more people I cared about, so it was simply better to not care.

As I plated the food, Natasha and Steve came out first, taking a plate and walking to the table. Bucky stood off to the side, watching me. Normally, he was the last one out, so he didn’t see my morning routine. Wanda came out next, grabbing a banana and sitting down. They started talking to one another, not bothering to try and engage me in conversation. They knew I wouldn’t join.

Sam came out next, followed by Clint. The only one who didn’t join was Bruce. He skipped breakfast, using that time to meditate. Tony and Pepper, they had an entire apartment in the facility so they only joined us for dinner, when they were both awake and in the building. Tony didn’t have a set schedule, sometimes spending days awake in his lab. And Pepper, being CEO of Stark Industries, she spent most of her time at work.

Bucky kept his eyes on me, not joining the others at the table. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. I moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the mess I had created cooking. As the others finished eating, I would grab their dishes, washing them as well. It felt the same as it had back in my time. Being as unobtrusive as possible, my masters ignoring me. This time was of my own making, but it was still exactly the same.

Once the kitchen was clean, I moved onto the rest of the tasks that I did on a daily basis. Dust, vacuum, the loads of laundry that needed to be done on an almost daily basis. The rest of the day went by like this, while Bucky followed me with a contemplative look on his face. He didn’t say anything to me, just watched. I could guess at what he was thinking, but I honestly just tried to pretend he wasn’t there.

At the end of the night, he walked me to my room, stopping me, “Jo…”

I plastered a smile on my face, “Thanks for following me today, Bucky. I know you’re just doing what Steve and Tony think is best, but I enjoyed spending the day with you.”

“Jo,” his eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what you learned about me in the future, but I’m not an idiot, no matter what you might think. Pain is something I lived with for seventy years. Not being in control of my own actions, being forced to kill while I was trapped inside of my mind, unable to stop.” He reached up to touch my hair, but I moved my head out of the way, not wanting the comfort, “I see the pain in your eyes, whether you want to admit it or not. You need to let someone in. You don’t need to take it all on alone.”

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked in. Before shutting it, I smiled again, “I’m fine. I’ve dealt with worse things in my life, this is nothing.”

“Jo…”

“No, Bucky.” I pretended to yawn, “It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I’m assuming someone else will be with me tomorrow, so I just wanted to say thank you. Today was a little easier because of you.” I shut the door and went to my bed. Not bothering to undress, I just crawled under the comforter and wrapped myself up, trying not to cry.


	5. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention of a previous suicide attempt in this chapter. Also, there is a part that alludes to a rape that took place in the past.

Sitting up in bed, I tried not to think about the previous day. If everything held to the same pattern as it had these past weeks, someone different would be outside my door waiting to follow me around. I put on my running clothes and opened the door. Seeing Bruce, I nodded at him and headed outside.

He did as Clint, sitting on the grass, meditating. Instead of my normal ten miles, I just continued to run around the pathway. If nothing else, maybe exhaustion would stop my brain from thinking about the things that I wanted to avoid.

After thirty miles, Bruce stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop or I would run into him. I placed my hands on my knees, breathing shallowly. He looked down at me while I tried to catch my breath. When I stood up straight, he smiled softly, “There is a better way to clear your mind, other than running yourself into the ground. Follow me.”

He walked away from me, leaving me standing there to choose whether to follow him or not. When he didn’t glance back at me, I jogged to catch up to him. While I would rather continue running until my legs gave out, I wasn’t sure what Tony and Steve would do if I were left alone.

Bruce continued through the facility, walking quickly. He took me downstairs, stopping at the locked door. Entering a code onto the keypad, he held it open for me, “Come on.”

I stopped. Downstairs is where the mural had been, the wall of names of the rebels who had died fighting for the freedom of Earth. Even though it wasn’t the same facility, having been rebuilt after Thanos destroyed it in 2023, it was identical in every way that I have seen. I knew that the mural wouldn’t be there, but I could still see it in my mind.

Bruce smiled, “There’s something that I want to show you. I think it might help.” When he saw my hesitation, he tried again, “I can get you the code to the door if you want to use what I show you. But I need you to see it first. Please.”

Nodding, I went through the door and walked down the stairs to the basement level. As I walked down the hall, I stopped at the room where the mural had been. Pushing open the door, I entered the large room. In this time, it was being used for storage. Stacks of crates against one of the walls. But the wall that would have held the mural, it was empty.

As Bruce walked in, I ignored him, moving over to the wall. Placing my hand over the spot where I remembered Bucky’s portrait being. I closed my eyes, remembering this place as it had been in my time. Remembering my father. A tear rolled down my cheek and I yanked my hand away, the memory being too much for me to bear.

Bruce cleared his throat, “The place I want to show you is just down the corridor.”

He walked out of the room and I followed him, shutting the door on the painful memories. When we reached the end of the hall, he opened the door to another room. Walking in, I saw lots of equipment lining the walls, with blue mats in the middle of the room. He led me to another door, pushing it open.

This room was a lot smaller and basically empty. The walls were covered in textured beige wallpaper, floors hardwood. A large bamboo floor mat sat in the middle of the room. He sat down on it, crossing his legs under him, “Sit down.”

As I sat, he took his phone out and turned on some white noise, the sound of the ocean. He placed his hands on his knees and looked at me pointedly until I did the same. Then, he spoke softly, “Have you ever meditated before?” I shook my head, “Close your eyes and relax. Breathe in and breathe out. Concentrate on nothing but your breath.”

We sat in silence and I did as he asked. Breathing in and breathing out with my eyes closed. As I concentrated on my breathing, memories surfaced. When my breathing grew ragged, I heard shuffling on the mat and felt Bruce’s knees touch mine as he grabbed my hands. He said softly, “Use the sound of my voice, concentrate on my touch.”

I tried to do as he said, but the memories kept coming.

_ “Little one, do you remember what I taught you?” Thor smiled down at me. _

_ I nodded and he handed me Stormbreaker. The power coursed through me, sending me to my knees. I groaned, “It’s too much, Thor. The power, it’s overwhelming me. I’m not strong enough.” _

_ He knelt on the ground next to me, “You are still young, Jojo. I was not fully in control of my powers until I was grown. You are still a child, little one.” _

_ “I’m fourteen, Thor,” I sounded petulant, even to myself. “I’m not a child. My mother was the leader of the resistance by eighteen.” _

_ “You have plenty of time to fill your mother's shoes,” he chuckled and took Stormbreaker from me, cutting off my access to the power. As he helped me stand, he handed me an ax approximately the same size as Stormbreaker, “This will help you learn to wield an ax. As my child, that is why you are able to even hold Stormbreaker. The only other one who could do it was Steve. Once you can handle the power, you will be unstoppable."_

_ “Daddy, why did mommy have to leave us?” I sat on Thor’s lap, staring at the mural of heroes. _

_ "She didn't want to, Jojo. Your mother loved you very much. But she knew that the only way for you to grow up free was to fight. That is the same reason I fight. One day, little one, I hope that you can live in a world without the Kree. That you can know freedom." He took a deep breath, “But freedom comes with a price. It would be dangerous if anyone knew you were my daughter because of the rebellion. Do you remember what we talked about?” _

_ I turned in his lap so I could stare up at his face. His eyes looked so sad as they stared down at me. I nodded, “Yes, daddy. You told me to call you Thor. But you’re my daddy.” _

_ “And I will always be your father, Jojo. No matter what you call me.” A tear rolled down his cheek and I wiped it with my chubby little fingers. He forced a smile on his face, “Your mother would be so proud of you, little one. Do you want to know why I brought you here?” _

_ I nodded and turned so I could look at the wall of heroes, “You knew them.” _

_ “I knew them.” His voice grew stronger, “These heroes were the Avengers. The bravest people I ever knew. If you could have met them… They would have loved you.” He kissed the top of my head, “You would have been spoiled rotten by each of them, just in different ways.” _

_ I looked at the faces, not sure how they would have felt about being around a young child, “Really? Even the scary-looking man with the metal arm.” _

_ “Little one, he would have loved you too. Bucky always had a soft spot for children and animals.” He stroked my hair, “And if you grow up to be half as beautiful as your mother was, he probably would have tried to… Nevermind, you’re too young to be thinking about those sorts of things.” _

_ I stared at the face of the man with the metal arm. His eyes looked so sad, even with the little half-smile on his face, “Why is he so sad, daddy?” _

_ “After the war against Thanos, he had lost so much. So many people died, and his best friend left him to be with a woman he hadn’t seen in over a decade.” Thor sighed, “Bucky Barnes suffered through much in his life. But after he retired in Wakanda, he was finally happy. He lived alone, never found a life partner, never had any children… but he was content.” _

_ A hand gripped the back of my neck as my master pulled down my pants, “You can either try to enjoy this, or you can suffer. If you think I care which one you choose, you would be mistaken.” _

_ He kicked my legs apart and I heard his pants get pushed down. I started struggling, not wanting what was coming. I had managed to avoid this for eighteen years. But my Kree master, he wasn’t willing to wait anymore. At least he had waited until I was no longer a child. Even the evil Kree had standards. _

_ When I heard the baton lengthening, I stilled. It trailed down my spine and he brought it down on my ass, softer than the usual beatings, but it still hurt. He chuckled, “Now, are you willing to cooperate? Or do I need to make you bleed first?” _

A hand slapped my face and I opened my eyes. I was on my back in the meditation room, Bruce kneeling over me with a concerned look on his face. As I looked at him, he schooled his features, “You’ve been out for quite a while. I was starting to get worried.”

I pushed myself up to sitting. My head was pounding. I brought a hand to my eyes, trying to make them stop aching. I didn’t want to tell him anything that I remembered, but I said, “Thanks, Bruce. I was… lost in my memories. And they weren’t all good.”

“I’m thinking that meditation might not be the way to go. At least until you have acclimated to this century.” He helped me stand and took me back out to the room with all the equipment. Walking me over to a stand that held an elongated cylinder covered in fabric. He placed a hand on it, “This is what Steve uses to get his anger and frustration out.”

I must have looked confused, because he said, “It’s a punching bag.” He made his hands into fists and hit the bag a few times, softly. “It’s filled with sand, and the fabric it’s made of is probably the toughest nylon around. Otherwise, we would be replacing these constantly. Steve is much stronger than the average person.”

He moved out of the way and I walked over to the bag, my hands curled into fists. My father had taught me to fight, but we had never had any equipment like this. At least, this type of thing didn't exist while I was growing up. The Kree took everything from us, so we had to learn to hit the old fashioned way, on each other.

I tentatively punched the bag, not sure if it would hurt my hands. Bruce stopped me before I could hit it harder, “I know you’re Thor’s child, at least sort of, but you still need to wrap your hands. The half-human part of yourself could get hurt.”

Waiting while he went to go get the tape, I tried to clear my thoughts of the memories. Especially, the last one. Remembering what the Kree did to me would bring me nothing but anger, and no one would like me when I got angry.

Bruce came back with a roll of white tape and held out his hand. I placed my hand in his and he wrapped it, then moved onto the other one. “Now you should be set.”

I moved over to the bag and started hitting it lightly. It swayed with each hit, but not very far. The bag felt solid under my fists, so I started hitting it harder and harder. Each punch I tried to channel all of my emotions into it. Maybe if I could eradicate my emotions this way, I could stop feeling like I hated myself.

When my fist went through the vinyl and into the bag, I stopped hitting it. Pulling my hand out, I watched while the sand coursed out of the bag. Bruce sighed, “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea either.”

I pulled the tape off of my hands and headed out of the room, back down the hall, to the stairs that would take me back to the main floor. He ran to catch up to me, “Jo, you can’t keep everything bottled up. I would know more than most.”

Stopping, my eyes narrowed at him, “Just because you turn into a rage monster, doesn’t mean I do.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t his fault that I couldn’t control my feelings of loneliness and anger, “I’m sorry. I just… I need to go.” 

I ran outside and then started running around the path again, going as fast as I could. On one of my laps around, I saw Bruce standing there watching. But at least this time he didn’t try to stop me. I ran for what seemed like hours, not even bothering to keep track of how many times I ran around the path. The sun had long since gone overhead when I started to feel faint.

Exhaustion had set in at least an hour earlier, but I kept pushing myself, not wanting to feel anything. When I finally slowed, it was only because I could tell I was about to pass out. I stopped in front of Bruce, who looked extremely concerned. As I fainted, he said, “Are you okay?”

I woke up on my bed, feeling cleaner than I should for how long I ran. Sitting up, I groaned at the feeling of muscle aches that I hadn’t felt in years. Bucky sat on the floor near my bed, his back against the wall. He watched me as I looked around the room, “You don’t need to deal with this pain alone. And killing yourself isn’t a good way to make it end either. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

My eyebrows raised at that statement. He sighed, “It was shortly after I lost my arm fighting Tony. Steve tried to cheer me up, but he had lost his new family because of me. He was a fugitive, on the run, because of me. I couldn’t bear that responsibility.” Bucky looked away from me so I couldn’t see the pain in his eyes. But I could hear it in his voice, “I managed to find a way to slice open my arm, even with only one hand.” 

He rolled up his shirt sleeve, showing me the ragged scar that traveled up his forearm, “Steve found me, bleeding heavily. He managed to save me. Then once I was healed, that’s when he took me to Wakanda. Shuri, she convinced me that life was worth living. That one day I would find happiness. That’s when I decided to go into cryostasis until they could remove my trigger words. Because if I was going to live, I couldn’t be a threat to those around me.”

I closed my eyes, trying to not picture what he told me. My voice came out strained, “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. Just… I needed to not feel for a little bit. That’s all.”

He stood and came over to the bed, sitting beside me. He didn’t touch me, but his presence helped calm me down, “What can I do to help?”

“There isn’t anything you can do, Bucky.” I tried to make my voice sound strong, but I couldn’t help the quaver as I spoke, “I’ll be fine.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t think that word means what you think it does.”

I forced myself to smile and looked at him, “I may not be completely fine, but I will be.” When his eyes narrowed at me, I sighed, “Bruce tried to get me to meditate, I remembered things I thought I had forgotten. One of the things was a story that my father had told me about you.”

“Oh?”

“I told you that you retired to Wakanda after Sam died. But I remembered my father telling me that you were happy, content. That you had finally found a place you could live out the rest of your days in peace.” I placed a hand on top of his, “I’m sorry that I took that away from you.”

“Jo, you stopped a lot of bad things from happening.” I pulled away from him and he grabbed my hand in his. Then, he lifted my head with his other hand, forcing me to look into his eyes, “I may not always be happy, but no one is. But this life, the one I have right now, it’s the happiest I’ve been since before I deployed to Italy in 1943.”

“But…”

“No, Jo. I am happy, I promise you.” He released me and stood, “And before you worry, Nat is the one who cleaned you up.”

“I wasn’t worried.” I laid back on the bed, turning so I face the wall, “I’ve had worse things done to me than having a man bathe me while unconscious.”

“Jo,” he said softly.

“I’m fine,” I made my voice sound strong so he wouldn’t realize I was crying. “I’m just going to sleep for the rest of the day. Tomorrow is another day. Thank you for staying until I regained consciousness.”

I didn’t hear any footsteps or the door close, so I knew he still stood there. He sighed, “I’m here if you ever need to talk. I don’t know why you won’t talk to anyone else, but you shouldn’t keep everything bottled inside. It’s not healthy. Trust me.”

When the door shut, I let myself cry, knowing that he couldn’t hear me. I let myself cry for the little girl I had been, for the woman I had become, and for the life I had lost. I let myself cry for my friends that I lost, my father who died, and the mother I never got a chance to know. I cried until I felt numb enough to fall asleep.


	6. Descent

Steve stood on the other side of my door, leaning against the wall. He had an intense expression on his face, “I talked to Bucky.” I walked past him, planning on heading outside to run. He grabbed my arm, stopping me, “Jo, he’s worried about you.”

Wrenching my arm out of his hand, I hurried outside. I didn’t even bother stretching before I began to run around the pathway, trying to avoid spending any time talking about this with Steve. He joined me, “I don’t know how to help you. I didn’t know how to help him. But…”

I sped up, trying to put some distance between us. But he managed to keep up with me, “I’ve been meaning to talk with you about something. About why there’s someone with you every day.” I pushed it until I was running full out, but he still kept up with me, “Jo, please, just let me try to explain.”

Stopping, I turned to look at him, crossing my arms over my chest. I took a deep breath, “I don’t care. What makes you think that I don’t already understand?”

“Bucky said…”

“What? That I’m upset?” I forced out a laugh, “Of course I’m upset. I watched my father die in front of me. I've lost everything. My entire world has been upended. If you truly think that I care whether you guys want to follow me around all day, you would be wrong. I get why you don’t trust me.” I took a step closer to him and poked him in the chest, “I don’t trust you either, Steve. My father did. He told me stories of your heroics. But whenever he would talk about your selflessness, he would always talk about how you abandoned your best friend to be with a woman whom you barely knew.”

He closed his eyes. I could imagine he was counting to ten in order to rein in his temper, “Peggy and I knew each other better than most people know.” I started to say something and he held up his hand, “No. You accuse me of something I never did, at least not since you changed the future, you can hear me out.” He sighed, “I loved her, and she loved me. I never talk about her, because crashing the plane into the Arctic was the only way to stop HYDRA from unleashing a nuclear bomb on the world. Leaving her was the hardest things I ever had to do, and while I would have loved to grow old with her, I didn't get that chance.”

“You really pined for her all these years?” I couldn’t keep the disgust out of my voice. “For the past seven years, even though you knew you could never be with her again, you kept thinking about her? Are you kidding me?” This time I laughed for real, “And this thing you have with Natasha? Is that just until Tony can figure out time travel so you can go back now that you know it’s possible? You make me sick.”

I started to head back into the facility. But before I could reach the door, he stopped me again, “I love Tasha.”

“But not enough to stay?”

“Why do you assume I’ll leave her?” His eyes narrowed, “Why? Because future me chose that path? Who’s to say we can’t change our fate?”

“You just admitted you love Peggy.”

“I said that I loved her.” He sighed and let me go, “I held onto her for a long time because I didn’t know how to fit in with this world. Because she was the one good thing I had from that time. So, I understand more than most what you are going through.”

“You don’t understand anything. You’ve lived a cushy life, Captain. When you’ve been beaten and raped, forced to be a slave, then come talk to me.” I ran inside, heading straight for my room. I slammed the door just as Steve headed toward it.

He knocked on the door, “Jo, please.”

Opening the window, I pulled out the screen and dragged the desk over to it. Climbing on top of the desk, I swung my legs out the window and looked over the edge. It was too far. As much as I wanted to get out of the facility, to be left alone, I knew that a fall from this height would damage me irreparably.

The door opened and Steve walked in. He rushed over and grabbed me by the arm, yanking me off the table, “This isn’t the answer, Jo.”

I tried to yank myself out of his grip, but he held on tight. Turning, I bared my teeth at him and swung my other fist as hard as I could, punching him in the jaw. He flew backward, instinctively releasing my arm. When he stood up, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, grimacing when he saw blood, “You want to fight? Fine.” He stalked out of the room and barked at me, “Follow me.”

We went down the hallway to the locked door. Watching him put in the code, the same one Bruce had used, I followed him down to the gym. We went inside and onto the blue mat. He took off his shoes, and I did as well.

He glared at me, “Killing yourself isn’t the answer.”

“I wasn’t going to kill myself, asshole,” I ran at him, throwing another punch at his face. But this time, he was ready for it. 

Ducking, he hit my stomach with his shoulder, taking me down to the ground. Straddling my hips, he held my thighs tightly between his legs, my hands pinned above my head, “Oh, then what were you trying to do, Jo? Because from where I stand, you keep making stupid life-threatening choices. I would hate to have to lock you up to keep you safe from yourself.”

“Steve, what are you doing?” Tony had walked into the gym, sounding bewildered. “I thought you and Nat were…”

Using the distraction, I forced my hips up, flipping Steve over my head. I rolled away from him and pushed myself up to standing. Waiting for him to do the same, I balled my hands into fists, “Just try it, asshole.”

I ran at him, punching multiple times. He managed to block all of them except for one that I sent straight to his gut. He doubled over in pain, “You don’t get to hurt the rest of the team simply because you choose to be selfish. For some reason, they seem to care about you.”

He straightened and came after me, punching with all of his considerable strength. I blocked a few of the punches, hiding how much my arms hurt when they blocked the hits. A fist connected with my stomach, another with my jaw. I fell onto the ground and he stood over me, staring down, “You are a liability. One we don't need right now. We didn’t need you to come back from the future to stop Thanos, we could have done it on our own.”

Laughing, I forced myself to stand, “I take it this means you don’t believe my story of the future.” The Kree had taught me many things in my life. One of them was how to make the enemy think you were defeated. Steve’s hands lowered and I went after him, punching him as hard and quickly as I could. I managed to land a few blows before he shoved me back.

“Goddammit, Steve,” Bucky yelled from the door as he walked in. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What he said,” Natasha added, following him in. “We’re supposed to be helping her, not hurting her.”

Laughing again, I moved towards him, “Do you always let others tell you what to do, Stevie?”

He growled and came at me, punching me in the stomach, hard. I doubled over and fell to the ground. His voice came out hoarse, “Stay down.”

Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I tried not to cough as I got up shakily. My hands curled into fists and I tried to hit him again, but he blocked it and swept my feet out from under me. As I lay on the ground, trying to catch my breath, he said softer, “Stay down, Jo.”

Rolling to the side, I pushed myself up, wincing at the pain I felt everywhere. I took a step closer to him, “I can do this all day.” As he looked at me in shock, I punched him as hard as I could in the stomach, then went for his face.

But he blocked that one, hitting me again. I fell to the ground, face first. My arms hurt from blocking all his punches, so when I tried to push myself up, I winced. He walked over sounding almost pained when he said, “Please, don’t make me keep doing this.”

I laughed and stood, holding one arm to my stomach as I leaned forward because it hurt too much to stand straight. “You know what I learned from stories of you, Captain America.” I spat out his name with anger. “I learned to always get back up. You will have to kill me to get me to stay down, and you don’t have the guts.” His hands clenched into fists and I held my chin up defiantly, “I will always stand up to bullies. Whether they be in the form of invaders to my world, or a man who thinks that everyone should listen to him simply because the US government turned him into a weapon.”

Someone got between us, shoving Steve back. When I saw the glint of metal, I sighed in relief. I might be willing to die, but I was happy to have it not be right now. Bucky took a menacing step toward him, “You are going to leave her the fuck alone, Steve. I don’t care if you are my best friend. She doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.”

“Bucky,” Steve said softly.

“No,” he growled. “You don’t get to beat on people whenever you feel like. You’re supposed to be better than that.”

I felt myself sway as I struggled to remain upright, “Bucky.”

He turned to face me, frowning when he saw blood on my face. He picked me up in his arms, turning back to Steve, softly saying, “We have to be better than that. Otherwise, maybe you should have signed the accords. Maybe they were right. Maybe we need someone to keep us in check.”

Bucky took me out of the room, carrying me up the stairs. I waited until we were headed toward my room before saying, “It was my fault.”

Bucky carried me into the bathroom, setting me down by the shower, “No, it’s not.” He turned on the water and gestured for me to undress and get in.

I swayed as I tried to take off my shirt, nearly falling over. Bucky caught me, holding me upright while undressing me. I touched his cheek, “Yes, it is. Steve is an asshole, I’m not arguing that point. And he did start it by grabbing me. But I made him keep going. If I had just stayed down…”

Bucky placed me in the shower and let go of me, “Get cleaned up, we can discuss this later.”

Turning in the shower, I felt my knees give out and fell to the ground. Bucky grumbled something and started to get undressed, leaving on his boxers. Stepping under the spray of the water, he lifted me up and held me against his body with one hand while washing my hair with the other.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, trying to help support myself, “I’m good at angering those around me. I pushed him. Yelled at him about Peggy, and Nat. If I had stayed on the ground, he would have stopped.”

As Bucky rinsed out my hair, he sighed, “You shouldn’t have to stay down after someone hits you. He never should have hit you in the first place.” Grabbing a washcloth, he lathered soap on it and began to wash my body, his touch more gentle than I deserved, “Steve knows better. He’s probably getting an earful from Nat and Tony right now.”

“Why were you down there?”

“Tony called us, thinking that we could stop him.” Bucky shut off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around me. Then he let go for a second to wrap a towel around his waist as well, before picking me up again, “I don’t know what you lived through, Jo. None of us really do. But no one deserves to be treated like that. I don’t care what you said or did to him, Steve was in the wrong.”

“Because I’m a girl?”

“No, because Steve is supposed to be a hero.”

We went into the room and Bucky saw the table pushed against the wall near the open window. He set me down on the bed, then went over, shutting it. He didn’t bother putting the screen on it first. When he sat down next to me, he looked sad, “I really wish you would talk to me. I want to help you.”

I let the towel slip down off my body so I could climb under the covers of the bed. Turning to face the wall, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the pity on his face, “I don’t know what it will take to get you guys to realize I’m not trying to kill myself. I just wanted to get away from…” I sighed and turned to look at him, “All my father wanted, before he died, was to know that I am safe so he could rest easy in Valhalla. I would never dishonor his memory by killing myself.”

“But you would have others do it for you,” Steve’s voice came out strained as he entered my room. When Bucky stood and took a step toward him, he held up his hands, “I didn’t come to fight, Buck. I came to apologize.” Steve looked down at me, “I’m an asshole. I let my anger get the better of me. Bucky is right, I never should have let it get that far. If you wanted a sparring partner, I could have done that. But instead, I nearly killed you.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” I said softly.

He grimaced, “Still, I could tell you were hurting, but I kept hitting you.” Steve sighed, “You may not want to kill yourself, but I could have killed you easily. If that’s what you want, you came awfully close today. If Bucky hadn’t of stopped me…”

“You would have stopped yourself,” I said. “I don’t trust you, Steve. You've given me no reason to. To be honest, I don’t trust anyone, not really. But my father… he believed in you. In none of the stories he told, did you ever once hurt someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“You didn’t deserve it.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I choked out a laugh, groaning when my ribs ached, “I said some pretty horrible things to you. And you don’t know some of the things I’ve done to survive.”

Bucky sat back down on the bed, placing a hand on top of my head, “You were trying to survive something we can’t even fathom.”

“Whatever you said to me, whatever you did to me, I still shouldn’t have hit you like that.” Steve stuck his hands in his pockets, shuffling from side to side as he stared at the ground, “I am truly sorry, Jo. I know I’m an asshole with a temper. Which I would be willing to bet Thor never mentioned to you, or you would have…”

“Oh, he told me. But he also told me that you were one of the best men he had ever known.” I pulled the blanket up to my neck and yawned, “You’re forgiven.”

Bucky glared at him, “I think you’re off the watch Jo rotation. She might forgive you, but I haven’t.”

“Bucky,” I said softly. “He’s your best friend, I’m nobody.”

His eyes softened as he looked at me, “Hush, I’m allowed to be mad at him. It's no less than he deserves right now.” He turned back to Steve, “Just go.” After Steve had left, he stood, “I’m going to leave as well. I’ll come and wake you in a little while for lunch. I'll bring some painkillers too.”

“Thanks, Bucky. You are really sweet."

He winked, “Just don’t tell the others. They might think I’m getting soft in my old age.”

“Well, technically, I won’t be born for another 121 years. So if you’re old, I don’t even know what that makes me.”

Bucky chuckled, “Sleep, Jo. I’ll be back in a little while.”


	7. Apathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update. Work has been exceptionally shitty the past couple of weeks and I haven't felt like writing, not even a little bit.

Several days passed where I just stayed in my room. The bruises from my fight with Steve were bad enough that I didn’t feel like dealing with the reactions of those around me. Each day, someone would bring food to my room, leaving it outside the door. I just hid, not bothering to say anything.

The only one who even dared enter my room was Bucky. He had seen me after the fight, every single burgeoning bruise. He would just shake his head at me when he brought me food, then sit down on the bed next to me. I would eat while he would tell me stories of his life before the war. Stories of his family and of growing up with Steve. It definitely made me understand Steve more.

When I finally felt like leaving my room again, I heard a knock at my door. I answered and Tony gave me this awkward half-smile, “Hey, kid. It’s you and me today if you’re up for leaving your room, that is.”

I looked him up and down. He was dressed in what appeared to be running clothes, but as far as I knew, he didn’t run or exercise. At least, nothing more than boxing with Happy. This was the first time that Tony had actually come to follow me around. Bucky had told me that he didn’t know how to interact with me. I was sort of his descendent, but since Pepper still wasn’t pregnant, it made it more confusing.

His smile slowly turned to a frown as I looked at him, “Did you want to go running today? I won’t be able to keep up, but at least you’ll have company.” I shook my head, “Thank god. Running is my least favorite thing to do. Let’s go hang out in my lab. I’ve got some work to do, and I’m interested in the story of why you would have my arc reactor as a belt buckle.”

Taking a deep breath, I followed him down the hallway. His lab was on the other side of the property, as far away from the living quarters as you could get. As we walked, I asked, “When do I get my stuff back?”

Tony stopped and looked at me, his eyes wide, “Um, about that…”

“Let me guess, the answer is no.”

“We don’t know you, Jo. You’ve been keeping to yourself, not letting anyone get close. And with the things you’ve been doing lately,” he must be referencing my supposed attempts to end my life, “we’re not sure we could fight you if you had the ax. You are the daughter of Thor, after all.” He pushed open the door to his lab and I followed him in, “Maybe if you would talk to someone, explain what’s going through your head, we would feel more comfortable with you.”

Tony pulled out a chair and gestured for me to sit. I did and he started messing with the table until a computer display showed up on the glass surface, “This is FRIDAY.”

“Hello, Ms. Stark,” a soft feminine voice said.

Tony sighed, “FRIDAY, I told you…”

“Mr. Stark, that is her name, is it not?”

“Yes, FRIDAY.” He grimaced, “Sorry, I’m still not used to the fact that you’re related to me.”

“You’re not my ancestor, not really.” I spoke softly, “Just like Thor isn’t my father. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I got here, about why traveling back in time changed the future, but it didn’t change my future. I think that maybe, I created an…”

“Alternate timeline,” Tony sounded contemplative. He stood up straight and started pacing, moving his hands as he talked, “That makes sense. Traveling back in time could potentially create paradoxes. If you changed the future, then you wouldn’t exist to come back in time in the first place. But if you created an alternate timeline…”

He stopped and looked at me, his voice soft, “You changed things for us. I still don’t understand why you would, but you did.”

I turned away from him, wanting to hide the tears that threatened to spill, “I just did what my father asked of me nothing more. Now, you wanted to know about the arc reactor.” I paused and when he stayed silent, I said, “After my universe's Tony died, his daughter kept the burned-out arc reactor to remind herself of her father. It’s been passed down through the family. Kept to remind us of the man that saved the world. To remind us that heroes did exist and that maybe, one day they could again.”

The silence continued for several minutes before Tony cleared his throat, “I’m going to work. Feel free to make use of FRIDAY.”

I stayed turned away until I heard him off on the other side of the lab. Pressing on the glass screen, I brought up FRIDAY. She said, “Ms. Stark, how can I help you?”

“For starters, you can stop calling me Ms. Stark.”

“I am programmed to…”

“I get that, I do. But I haven’t gone by Stark in years.” I sighed, “They always just called me Josephine.”

“Well, Ms. Stark, Mr. Stark has told me a little of what happened to you. At least, what he knows of what happened to you.” She paused, “Josephine is what your captors called you. And while I am programmed to call people by their chosen names if you ask me specifically, I will not use the name your captors did.”

I couldn’t help but smile, “Thanks, FRIDAY. You can call me Jo or Jojo. But Stark,” I looked over at Tony, “that’s not who I am, not really.”

“Well, Jo, what can I help you with?”

I thought about all the things that I could ask her, the things that I could find out about this time. But I settled for something simple, “Do you have pictures of all the Avengers?”

“I do,” she sounded confused.

“What about the others? The ones who helped during the battle, Rocket, Groot, the Wakandans…?”

“If I do not, I can search the internet for references to them.”

Thinking for a few more seconds, I asked, “Does Tony have a program that can manipulate photos?”

“Hm,” FRIDAY sounded contemplative. I saw things start to flash across the screen in fast succession, “He has something similar to what you are asking for. It was developed at Stark Industries. How exactly are you planning on using it?”

“There was this mural that I grew up with.” I closed my eyes, remembering every detail of the painting, even though it had faded considerably before I ever saw it, “I just… there is nothing here that reminds me of home. Maybe if I could have a small piece of what I lost, that would help me not feel so…”

Her voice came out soft, almost nurturing, “How can I help?”

We spent the next few hours manipulating the photos of the Avengers and other heroes to an approximation of the mural I remembered. Turning Bruce into Hulk with glasses was harder than the others. For them, it was just taking several pictures and merging them together. For Bruce, it required more work on the part of FRIDAY to change him into the Hulk I remembered staring at for hours.

After a while, I had something close enough to what I remembered. I stared at the screen for several minutes, trying to will my eyes to stop leaking. FRIDAY spoke up, “I can print a copy of this if you would like.”

“Could you?” I tried to keep the hope out of my voice.

I must have failed, because she said, “It would be my pleasure.”

The printer made a whirring noise and a color image came out. I looked over at Tony who was sitting with his head leaned back against the wall, passed out. Grabbing the paper I left the lab, hurrying to my room.

Once inside, I sat down on my bed, fingers tracing over the image. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I looked at the picture. Even the smile on Bucky’s face was the same as I remembered. His eyes staring at me, trying to tell me something.

I stood and placed the picture in a drawer, it only made me feel lonelier. Remembering my past just served as a reminder that I was all alone. Reminding me of everything I lost. I left the room, deciding to do some laundry. Maybe that would take my mind off of things.

Luckily, everyone was gone except for Tony, and since he was fast asleep, I could move around the facility without anyone watching me. It occurred to me that I could escape, run from the people that held me here. But the thought of living in this world I didn’t understand, alone, scared me more than anything. I didn’t think I would be able to survive without help.

So, instead of running away, I went room to room. Collecting dirty clothes and taking them to the laundry room. When I got to Bucky’s room, I stepped inside. The only thing that seemed to calm me anymore was Bucky. I didn’t know why, but even his scent helped make me feel a little bit better.

I gathered up his clothes, but when I found one of his shirts on the ground and it smelled of him, I picked it up and took it to my room, hiding it under a pillow. If I thought about it too long, it would have been creepy. Stealing a shirt from a guy that I barely knew. But out of all of the Avengers, he was the only one that really spoke to me. The only one that seemed to care about what happened to me.

The next day, I woke surrounded by Bucky’s scent. His shirt covered me halfway down my thighs, so I didn’t feel the need to put anything else on. Instead, I simply climbed out of bed and opened the door. Seeing Wanda there, I pushed past her and headed outside. Past the running track and the trees, to the edge of the land where the beach started.

I sat on the sand, drawing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. Putting my chin on my knees I stared out at the water. Wanda sat down next to me, legs crossed underneath her.

She looked over at me, “I know what loss feels like.” Her voice cracked, “My brother gave his life to save a child, then Thanos killed Vision. I’ve lost everything I ever loved, been forced to do despicable things that I can never atone for.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly.

“What are you sorry for? Killing Thanos?” She chuckled, “You managed to stop him from killing half of the galaxy, why are you sorry for that?”

I sighed, “No, I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time to save Vision. If I had just gotten there a little bit earlier, I could have stopped Thanos from…”

A gentle hand touched my back, “Jo, it’s not your fault.”

I pulled away from her, “Yes, it is. I knew that Vision died. My father, he told me the story of how he failed many times. Of how if he had only gone for the head… but he didn’t. I came back to the time when I knew Thanos would be here, but I didn’t think of anybody else when I did. Just five minutes earlier, I could have stopped him from killing Vision.”

Wanda took a few moments to respond, her voice strong, “I spent the first two weeks you were here sobbing into my bed over losing Vision. But never once did I blame you. If you had come back earlier, maybe you could have saved Vision. But maybe, just maybe, Thanos would have managed to kill you as well. You were able to kill him easily because he was already down. But at full strength…” She moved closer to me, but didn’t touch me, “I’ve forgiven myself for letting him die, you need to forgive yourself.”

I looked at her, confused. She gave me a soft smile, “You need to forgive yourself for the death of your father. You’re not to blame for any of it. You saved so many people, Jo. You need to remember that.”

Standing, I started walking back to the facility, Wanda following me. As she jogged to catch up, I said, “I understand that I saved everyone. I understand why a different Avenger follows me every day. I even understand why Tony and Thor want nothing to do with me.” Turning to her, I stopped, “When your brother and Vision died, you weren’t left with nothing. You still had family, albeit a different kind of family. Do you know what I have? Nothing. My mother and father were killed fighting to save our planet, my friends met the same fate. I don’t even have the world that I knew. All I have is a bunch of people who stare at me as if I’m an oddity.”

“Jo…”

“No, Wanda. It’s fine.” I headed back inside and went to my room, shutting the door on her face. Leaning against it, I sank to the floor, “Just leave me be.”

I heard her sigh, “If you want to talk…”

“I don’t.”

“Fine,” her footsteps led away from the door and I got up, climbing into my bed.

I laid in bed for a long while, staring at the wall. The door opened, shutting just as quietly. A weight settled on the bed next to me. They didn’t say anything, just sat there. A few minutes passed and I turned over, seeing Bucky sitting there staring down at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I sighed, “Wanda sent you, didn’t she?” He nodded, “I’m fine, Bucky.”

“You keep saying that,” his eyes narrowed. “You’re allowed to be not fine. You’re allowed to hurt, to be upset, to feel like everything is going to shit. It’s okay to cry, to feel broken. I understand.”

Pushing myself up to a seated position, I stared at him, “You can’t possibly understand what I’m going through.”

“I can’t?” An eyebrow raised, “I lost my mother at a young age, helped raise my three sisters. When I went away to war, I knew there was a chance I would die. But I never gambled on being captured and turned into a killing machine.”

My heart broke for him. I reached out and laid a hand on his arm, “Bucky…”

“I’m not telling you this to get your sympathy, Jo.” He gave me a soft smile, “While I was under the control of HYDRA, my family grew up and died. My sisters had kids that are still living, but I don’t know how to explain what happened to me. It’s better for them if I just stay away.” He laid his hand on top of mine, “You’re not the only one who lost everything.”

Pushing away, I climbed off the bed and looked down at him, “You think you lost everything?” I laughed, “Even when you had nothing, you had Steve. And after Steve found you in Romania, you got a new family. The people here love you. They’re your friends, your family. This is your world.” Shaking my head, I turned away from him, “You didn’t lose everything, Bucky, you just felt like you did. I actually have lost everything and everyone I’ve ever known. Now, I’m stuck here, surrounded by people who think I’m a hazard.”

“We don’t think…”

“That’s why you’re following me around.” I climbed back onto the bed and under the covers, staring at the wall again, “That’s why I can’t be left alone. Because you don’t know my strengths. You don’t know what I’m capable of.” I sighed and closed my eyes, “I’m capable of more than you know, Bucky. I survived for thirty-three years in an oppressive regime, fighting every day from the time I was old enough for a better life for everyone around me. I’ve killed more Kree than I can count. I’m a danger to you guys, I get that.”

“Jo,” he placed a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to lay on my back. He stroked my cheek, his eyes full of sorrow, “Steve and Tony just don’t understand. They’re both good people, who have never had to deal with the sorts of things you have. Neither of them ever had to do things they regret, nor have they ever had to go up against something so big that they couldn’t overcome.”

He leaned down and placed a kiss to my forehead, “Just… stop pretending everything is fine. I can see the pain in your eyes, no matter how much you try to hide it.” He was so close to me, I could see brown flecks in the blue, “What can I do to help? How can I make this better for you? Tell me, Jo. Tell me what I can do.”

My eyes filled with tears that he wiped as they slid down my cheeks. I whispered, “I’m fine.”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath he said, “You’re not. But I don’t know what else I can say to get you to trust me.” He pressed another kiss to my forehead and stood, walking toward the door, “I’m here when you decide you want to talk. Please, don’t keep this bottled inside for too long. I know better than anyone how destructive it can be.”


	8. Breakdown

I woke up early, having barely slept during the night. Thoughts raced through my mind all during the night, making me toss and turn. I couldn’t help but remember everything that had happened before going back in time to change the future. I missed my father, and Odin help me, I missed my fucked up world. At least, I missed the familiarity of the world that had been my home.

Still wearing the same shirt of Bucky’s that I had been for over a week, even though it no longer smelled of him, I snuck out of my room and outside. It was still dark, so the rest of the facility remained fast asleep. Sitting down on the beach, I wrapped my arms around my legs and stared out at the water.

The sun started coming up as I sat there, changing the sky from dark blues, into vibrant reds and oranges. Normally, watching the sunrise would invoke feelings in me, of awe and happiness. But I hadn’t felt anything other than numb in a few weeks.

Footsteps crunched behind me and a figure sat down next to me. From the scent, I could tell that it was Bucky. He sighed loudly, “Natasha was going to follow you today. I bet you can imagine the ruckus going on back inside. I had an idea where you were, and I snuck out, but the others are in there trying to figure out where you might have gone.”

I just kept staring out at the water, trying not to shiver in the cool morning air. He sighed again, “I’ve decided you’ve been in this stupor long enough. It’s been weeks. I understand that you feel like you have nothing to live for. And you might think I’m being an asshole about this, and that’s fine. Maybe I should let you sink deeper into your depression until you really do try to kill yourself.” He grabbed my chin, turning my face so I looked at him, “But I’m not going to let you do that. I care too much to let you self-destruct.”

Bucky stook and lifted me to my feet, placing an arm around my shoulders and directing me back toward the facility. I still felt numb, unable to really process what was happening. The closer we got to the building, the more terrified I became. My numbness was the only thing stopping me from doing something that would destroy my father if he were still alive.

Before we reached the entrance to the building, I snapped, pulling out of his embrace. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I went after him, hitting Bucky in the chest with the back of my fists. I pounded on his chest, crying. He had grabbed my upper arms, but still, let me continue to hit him. I screamed, “Just kill me. I have nothing. Nothing. I can’t take it anymore, Bucky.” He forced me into his arms, wrapping them around me as I continued to sob, “Please, just put me out of my misery.”

He murmured into my ear, hands rubbing my back. He let me cry onto his shoulder, just holding me tight against him. When my breathing slowed and I sagged against him, he pulled back and then picked me up into his arms. One arm under my legs, the other holding my torso tight to him. He spoke softly as he carried me inside, “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but things will get better, Jo. I swear to you, they will.”

Once inside, he placed me on the couch, then walked over to where the others were eating breakfast. I curled on my side so I could stare out the window, but I could still hear every word they said.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Bucky hissed.

Steve choked out a reply, “What do you mean, Buck?” He paused, “What happened?”

“You’ve been treating Jo like a…” he let out a ragged breath. “Like a slave. She’s cleaned, cooked, done our laundry… not once has she ever raised a hand against any of us. And yet, you and Tony are too wrapped up in your own grandeur that you can’t see that she is hurting.”

“We didn’t mean to treat her like that, Bucky,” Tony said softly. “I didn’t realize that she felt that way. I thought she did those things because they made her happy.”

“You stupid fuck,” even though the words were harsh, Bucky’s voice sounded tired. He didn’t seem angry, “She did those things because that is what she knows. She was a house slave, Tony. Those things, she did them on a daily basis for her… for the guy holding her hostage.” I heard a chair scrape on the hard floor and it creaked when Bucky sat down, “Haven’t you seen how she is hurting? The pain in her eyes?”

Wanda spoke softly, “I’ve seen it. She reminds me of myself.”

“What do you want us to do about it, Bucky?” Steve sounded exasperated. “We still don’t know what she’s capable of. She could be dangerous.”

A chair scraped back from the table and I heard a loud smack of someone hitting the table. Natasha sounded vicious, “I’m fucking dangerous, Steve. I could kill any of you without breaking a sweat. She is a woman who has been hurt, multiple times, even I can tell that just by looking into her eyes. I’m sick and tired of you and Tony thinking that you’re the only ones who get a say in this team. Because that is what we are, a team. This isn't a dictatorship.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve started to say.

“Don’t you dare fucking sweetheart me right now,” her voice continued to drip venom. “I’ve kept quiet about this because you are partially right. We don’t know how strong she is, not truly. And to be honest, I don’t fucking care if she could kill just by looking at someone. She killed Thanos. She stopped this world from following the same path that her’s did. She saved all of us from a horrible future. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t see that.”

Footsteps carried Natasha out of the room and Bucky sighed, “We can’t keep holding Jo hostage. You need to let her out of the house, let her see what this world holds. Stop treating her like a prisoner and like a friend.” A chair scraped against the floor, “You’re my best friend, Steve, and I love you like a brother. But you and Tony are wrong about this.”

“I’m not wrong,” Steve sounded like he didn’t even believe what he was saying. “I…”

Tony interrupted, “Bucky, I get that you feel for her. I do too. She’s a lovely girl, but she is still the daughter of a god. We don’t know what she can do. What if we let her out on the world and she hurts someone?” He sighed, “There is another solution.”

“What?”

“I’ve been tinkering with the idea of time travel.” As Tony spoke I stood and turned to look at the group. No one noticed me staring at them as he talked, “We can send her back to her time. Send her back to what she knows. Maybe that would help her.”

I held out my hand, willing Stormbreaker to come to me. As I waited, Bucky slammed his metal hand onto the table hard enough that a chunk of wood broke off. He growled, “You would send her back to the people who enslaved her? To the people who tortured and raped her? Killed her mother and father? You would truly be so evil as to think that is a good idea?”

Stormbreaker flew into the room and they all turned to look as it smacked into my hand. Lightning crackled as I stalked toward them. Anger and pain laced my voice, “You are not sending me back to that hell.” I twirled the ax, almost smiling when I saw them blanch. I walked over to Steve and held out Stormbreaker, “Out of everyone here, you are the only one who can wield this other than Thor.”

He stood and looked at me, “What is it you expect me to do with that?”

“The blade is sharp.” I grabbed Steve’s hand, wrapping it around the hilt of the ax. When I released it, his eyes flashed with the power of Thor. I knelt on the ground, placing my hands on the floor and leaning forward, exposing my neck, “Kill me. Put me out of my misery. One well-placed blow to the neck is all it will take.” I could feel tears spill down my cheeks as my voice cracked, “Please, kill me. Don’t send me back.”

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “If you do this, I will never forgive you.”

The ax clattered to the ground and Steve took several steps back. He sounded shaken, “I… I can’t. I’m sorry, Jo, I can’t.” He left the room quickly, running out.

I fell forward, resting my head on the floor as I cried. Bucky crouched near me, placing a hand on my back. He spoke softer but still sounded angry, “Don’t even think about it, Tony. We’re not killing her and we’re not sending her back. The only thing that waits for her there is misery and suffering. She deserves better than that. She deserves better than us.”

“It was only an idea, Bucky,” Tony said softly. “She is miserable and suffering here too. What are we supposed to do? I thought that if she went back, maybe at least being in her own universe would make her feel more at peace. I didn't think about everything else.”

Bucky pulled me up off the floor and into his arms, rubbing my back as I cried, “What we need to do is to let her live. And not just in the literal sense. But truly let her live. Let her leave the facility, go out into the world. Maybe if she can find something worth living for, she will get better. Find a way to make peace with the fact that she is in a new universe that is so different from her own.”

I whispered against his chest, “I’m still here, you know. You don’t need to talk about me like I’m not in the room.”

He placed a kiss to the top of my head and ran a hand through my hair, “I care too fucking much to watch you kill yourself, Jo. Even if you don’t commit suicide, you’re still killing yourself.” I heard chairs scrape and footsteps leave the room, the others giving us some space. He continued to run his fingers through my hair, the other hand rubbing my back, “Please, let me help you. Goddammit, Jo, let me help you. I’m begging you.”

I pulled back and reached up, cupping his face with my hands. The look of sorrow on his face killed me, but I still couldn’t help but feel helpless, “I’m sorry, Bucky. I really am.” I pulled away and turned my back on him, “I can’t be what you want. I feel like I’m dying inside and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“Let me help,” he sounded broken.

“I don’t know how.”

He wrapped his arms around me from behind, placing a kiss on the back of my head, “I know it’s hard, Jo. I went through the same thing. I felt like no one could understand my suffering. Like no one could help me. But the thing is, while no one could truly comprehend what I endured for seventy years, my friends did help me. Just being there for me, showing me that they cared, it helped me more than I realized.”

I ran a hand over the scar hidden underneath his long-sleeved shirt, “I… How do I do this, Bucky? How do I survive? How do I get better?” I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his waist, “How do I make the pain stop?”

“One day at a time, that’s all you can do. You just have to want to live more than you want to die.” He tilted my head up and I saw that his eyes were red with unshed tears, “Just don’t close me off anymore, please. I don’t know if I can take losing…” He closed his eyes and lowered his forehead to mine, “Tomorrow, we’re going out, no matter what Tony and Steve said. I want to show you something. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me.” The next word sounded so pained I wanted to hold him in my arms and never let go, “Please.”

“Okay.”


	9. Lions, Tigers, and Bears...

As I woke, my door opened and Bucky walked in, a shirt in his hands. He had a smile on his face, the first in quite a while. Plopping down on the bed, he ran a hand over my head, his smile fading into a frown, “Come on, you need to take a shower before we go out.”

I just stared at him, trying to communicate that I didn’t want to go. My promise to Bucky was the only thing that kept me from hiding under the covers, but I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. His frown only intensified, “I brought you another shirt. I figured you might like to have a clean one.”

Grabbing it out of his hands, I could tell that it didn’t smell of him. That it was the only reason that I wore the one I took from his bedroom. But he was right about one thing, the shirt I wore needed to be changed. I had been wearing it for too long.

When he saw that I didn’t move, he put the shirt on the bed and stood, lifting me up and directing me toward the bathroom. Inside, he opened the shower curtain and gestured, “Please, Jo. It will make you feel better.”

I lifted the shirt over my head, tossing it on the ground. Bucky’s eyes looked at my body, his frown turned into a look of concern. My weight had dropped since coming to this reality. Depression had lowered my appetite significantly, so you could almost count my ribs.

Ignoring his looks, I climbed into the shower and turned on the water, making it as hot as I could stand. He watched as I stood under the water, letting it stream over my skin. The tears started coming, masked only by the water rolling down my face. However, while the water hid the tears, it did nothing to cover the shakes of my shoulders as I sobbed. I heard Bucky sigh and a few seconds later a pair of arms encircled me from behind. He was naked except for his boxers, but I could still feel every hard inch of him against my back.

Turning me in his arms, he held me close, one hand on my back, the other on my head. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” he murmured into my hair. “We don’t have to do this today if you aren’t feeling up for it. But I think that once you get out of this place, you’ll feel better.”

I lifted my head to look at him, “I’m scared.”

“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he grabbed my face with both his hands, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I swear it. I just want to help you try and feel better, to see what the world has to offer. You won’t be alone.”

Resting my head on his chest, I sighed, “I should get washed up. And now you need to change as well.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I do.” His hands traced down my arms, his voice deepening, “Do you want some help?”

I felt my face heat up as I took a step back, crossing my arms over my chest. The tenor of his voice brought back memories of the Kree, making me uncomfortable. I took a step back from him. He looked confused for a second, then frowned and left the shower, “I’ll meet you back in your room after I change.”

After closing the shower curtain, I leaned against the wall and sighed. I was definitely too fucked up to be with someone like him. He made me feel things I never expected to feel. When everyone around you dies, you learn to not care, to not let yourself get too close.

I finished showering and wrapped a towel around my body. Picking up the dirty shirt, I went back to my room. Bucky was already there sitting on my bed, dressed in dry clothes. The shirt he had brought me sat on the bed next to him.

Dropping the towel on the floor, I pulled out clean leggings and underwear, pulling them on as Bucky watched. When I grabbed a shirt out of the drawer, I saw him frown again. I turned toward him, “My father always told me if I frowned too much, it would stick that way.”

His frown didn’t disappear, “I thought…” Shaking his head, he stood with the shirt, “I guess you don’t want this.”

The crestfallen expression on his face made me rethink my choice. I sighed, taking a second to think before I said, “It wasn’t the shirt I liked.” His eyebrows rose, the sadness temporarily disappearing. I closed my eyes, not sure how to put into words without looking pitiful. “You are the only… It’s not your shirt, but...” I couldn’t finish either of my sentences, not wanting to put into words what I needed.

Hands gripped my naked arms and I opened my eyes. He had a soft look in his eyes as he took a step back and took off his long-sleeved shirt, handing it to me. My face flushed as I put it on. Afterward, I sighed and leaned against his torso, wrapping my arms around his waist, letting myself have the comfort I had fought so long against.

As he rubbed my back, he said softly, “I will never think less of you for what you tell me. Never. When I went through my… The only thing that comforted me was this stupid coin that my father had given me when I left for war.” He took a silver coin out of his pocket, twirling it between his knuckles, “I spent so many years rubbing the metal, even when I was the Winter Soldier, you can’t even see the markings anymore.”

Grabbing my hand, he placed the coin in it, tightening my fingers around it. I gave him a questioning look, “What are you…”

Placing a kiss on my forehead, he backed away, “I don’t need it anymore. I haven’t needed it in a while. Maybe, just maybe, it can bring you some peace too.”

I rubbed the coin between my fingers, the warmth of the metal sinking into my skin. Holding something that meant so much to him brought me more peace than I could ever have expected. Walking up to him, I placed it back into his hand and stood on my toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek. My words came out barely audible, “You do that for me.”

The skin around his eyes crinkled happily as he grinned, “Put your sneakers on, we’re going to be doing a lot of walking.”

I did as he asked, then we left my room, heading for the front door. Steve stood there, blocking the exit, looking almost physically ill. His gaze remained trained on the floor, “Buck, this isn’t a good idea.”

Bucky grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, pulling me past Steve. He stopped next to his friend, “I owe you my life, but if you try to stop me I will do something that both of us will regret.”

“I’m not going to stop you.” Steve looked at me and I could see his red-rimmed eyes, “I’m sorry, Jo. I’m a bastard, which we’ve already discovered.”

“It’s okay,” I said softly. “I understand.”

“No, it’s not. Natasha…” His gaze lowered, “We’re not…” He sighed, “It doesn’t matter. I’m just worried about what might happen if you go out. We don’t know your strengths, what might happen if you get overwhelmed and freak out.”

Bucky growled, “We’re going.”

Steve nodded and moved out of the way. Bucky dragged me out of the facility and to the garage, stopping only when we stood in front of a motorcycle. Then he sighed and went to an expensive looking car that sat low to the ground, “Hopefully Tony doesn’t mind that we borrow this.”

He put me into the passenger seat and we took off. We sat in silence on the drive, mainly because I stared out the side window, looking at everything we passed. So many things reminded me of home. The buildings, the roads… the only appreciable difference was the trees. They were everywhere.

Pulling into a parking space, he got out and opened my door, helping me to stand. As we got near the entrance, I saw a sign, Bronx Zoo. I turned to him, brow furrowed, “Zoo?”

“You’ll see,” his grin was back. “They had animals in your time, right?”

“Yeah, but it was pigeons and rats. Things that don’t die easily.”

“What did you eat?”

“The Kree fed us a protein mixture, something that would keep us healthy and able to work.” My face fell as I talked about it, “They always had fresh food. I never knew where it came from.”

He paid for two tickets and pulled me into the park, “Well, these animals aren’t for eating.”

Bucky held my hand as we walked through the park. Animals I had never heard of were everywhere. Most of them we just walked past because I had no desire to stop. So many people were around, and even though Steve had been a jackass about it, I was scared that I might do something if I got overwhelmed. I was capable of more than they knew, and that terrified me.

At the back of the park, there was a large forest area. There was no one inside the building yet, so I pulled Bucky inside. A large glass wall overlooked the enclosure and I could see large cat-like creatures with orange fur.

When I looked over at him, confused, he said, “They’re tigers.” He pushed me closer to the glass, “Tigers are pretty fucking awesome creatures. They weigh about seven hundred pounds, have teeth that could pierce all the way through your arm, and are pretty much at the top of the food chain. At least in the wild.”

I watched the tigers through the glass. Over in the corner, I saw a large hollow log with a tiger inside. There was a foot-wide area below the glass window, so I sat down, resting my back against the wall. I stared at the tiger in the log, wondering why it would be hiding instead of playing with the others.

Over the next couple of hours, many people came and went. Bucky had taken one of the benches near me, and because he was physically imposing without trying they avoided us. The tiger in the log alternated between looking at me and hiding its face under a paw. But slowly, the looks grew longer until it started inching toward the glass.

The tiger would glance over at the other tigers who were far away from the glass, stopping only when they looked over. Once they went back to their own thing, the tiger continued to move. Eventually, it was only about a foot away from the glass, staring straight into my eyes. I could see the scars on its back, ones that reminded me of my own.

I sighed and placed a hand on the glass. The tiger approached, rubbing its face on the glass. Then it flopped to the ground, pressing as close to me as it could get. For the next couple of hours, we sat like that. People would come over to take a picture, stopping only when Bucky growled at them.

As the sun started setting, Bucky crouched down next to me, “You ready to head back?”

When I stood, the tiger did as well, heading back to its place inside the log. I pulled the sleeves down over my hands and yawned. Nodding, I let him put his arm around me and guide me toward the entrance. The ride back to the facility was as quiet as the ride to the zoo.

However, once we were inside, the silence became deafening. Tony sat at the table with the others, but he was the only one that looked unhappy to see me walk in the front door. Natasha and Steve looked everywhere but at each other. And Wanda, she had a curious look on her face, especially after she looked at the shirt I was wearing.

Tony sighed, “Bucky, I thought we weren’t going to take her out of the house.”

“That’s what you decided, not me. I’m not going to keep her cooped up like a prisoner.” Bucky stepped between me and the table, “I’m not going to let you keep…”

Steve stood, “Enough, both of you.” He turned to Bucky, “How did everything go today?”

“It went fine. We went to the zoo.”

Turning to Tony, Steve crossed his arms over his chest, “I get why you’re worried, Tone, I was too. But I trust Bucky. And Jo, she hasn’t done anything to deserve how we’ve been treating her. I made a mistake in agreeing with you before, and I’m not going to do it now.” He sighed, “I can’t understand what she went through, and neither can you. Look at her Tony, she’s just a girl.”

Natasha turned and looked at Steve, a soft look on her face. She looked over at me, “Did you have fun today?” I wish I could have smiled for her, but all I could do was nod. “Good, I’m glad.” She stood and came over, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. She leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Bucky’s a good guy, Jo. You should give him a chance.”

I pulled away and gave her a look. Luckily, Bucky started talking before I could embarrass myself, “Tony, please tell me you understand. Because I’m going to keep taking her out of here, with or without your approval.”

“I do understand,” Tony said. “But I don’t agree. She’s still a big question mark. For all you know, she’s lying about everything.”

“Tony,” Wanda sounded exasperated. “What the fuck is wrong with you? She’s been here a few months now. In that time, she has done nothing but help out around here. There has not been a single instance where she hurt anyone, other than Thanos. She gave up her weapon without being asked. What more can she do to prove herself to you?”

“Nothing,” I said quietly. They all turned to look at me. I kept my gaze trained on the ground, “I didn’t mean to come between you guys. Maybe I should just go.”

“Fuck,” Tony stood and ran a hand over his head. “I can’t deal with this right now.” 

As he left the room, Steve nodded, “Do whatever you need to, Bucky. You have my support. I’m just sorry I didn’t give it to you sooner.”

With that, Bucky led me back to my room. He stopped at the door, looking at me tenderly, “I’ll be back in the morning. We can do whatever you want.”

“Can we go back to the tiger?”


	10. The Will to Live

For the next few days, every morning Bucky would come into my room and give me the shirt off his back. It made me feel self-conscious the first couple of times, but after a while, it became our thing. It made me feel safe smelling him all around me.

After giving me his shirt, we would go back to the zoo. I sat against the window, the same place every day. Two days in, the tiger started to wait for me next to the window, seeming to come to life when I came.

On the fifth day, I sat against the window, the tiger doing the same. A park employee came up, stopping several feet away when Bucky glared at them. He cleared his throat, “Ma’am, my name is Travis. I work with the tigers. I was wondering if I could talk to you?”

My hands started to shake a bit so I stuffed them into my pockets as I stood. Staring at the ground, I murmured, “Sure.”

Bucky came up beside me, rubbing my back lightly, “What’s this about?”

“Ma’am,” Travis looked scared. “We’ve noticed you spending quite a lot of time here with the…”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Bucky growled.

Travis held up his hands, “Not at all. I actually wanted to talk to you because you are the only one that Hercules has responded to.” He pointed at the scarred tiger who had retreated back into his log, “We got him a few weeks ago from a ‘collector’ who had taken extremely poor care of him. But he won’t let us look at him. Until you showed up, he never left the log, even for food.”

I walked over to the glass, putting my hand on it as I stared at Hercules with a new understanding of why he was so timid. My voice came out stronger, “What do you want from me?”

“Would you be willing to come and meet him?” When I looked at Travis shocked, he smiled, “This isn’t something we would normally let anyone do, but since we really need to check him over… I can understand if you feel uncomfortable, but we would be really appreciative if…”

“I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky whispered into my ear.

I gave him the first genuine smile in weeks, “I want to help.”

Travis turned to leave, “Please, follow me.” We walked through the park for a few minutes, then went behind several of the exhibits until reaching the door at that would go into the tiger enclosure.

As he opened the door, Travis turned to me, "Just remember, I'll be there with you every step of the way. The tigers we have are very friendly, but they are still extremely large animals, and they could hurt you without meaning to."

"Don't worry about me, I'm stronger than I look. Plus, I'm more worried about Hercules."

Travis opened the door and went inside gesturing for me to follow him. Bucky grabbed my hand and did the same. Once we got inside, Travis and Bucky stood near the door and I moved a few feet forward, making eye contact with Hercules in the log. He seemed unsure if he should come out or not, so I sank to my knees and tried to make myself appear smaller.

Slowly, Hercules crawled out of the log making his way over to me. When he got closer, I held out my hand to let him sniff me. Once he did, he butted his head against my hand and started to purr, a loud sound that sounded like the engine of a car.

I brought up my other hand and scratched his face, keeping my voice soft, "Poor baby, I know what it's like to be abused. No one here will hurt you." I moved forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, unable to stop the flow of tears that started. Hercules continue to purr as I held him. 

After a couple of minutes, Travis said, "The others are coming."

I looked up and saw two other tigers inching my way. Hercules must have noticed, because he stopped purring and yanked out of my arms, turning to face them. He got into a defensive posture and started to growl.

I stood and laid a hand on his head, trying to calm him down. "It's okay Hercules, they're not going to hurt me." He calmed down a little, but still growled deep in his throat. I moved forward a little bit towards the other tigers and held out my hands. They moved forward until they could sniff my hands.

They didn't butt their heads against my hands as Hercules did, but once they sniffed me they seemed to nod and then turned and walked away. I knelt in front of Hercules again placing both my hands on the side of his head. My heart broke for this animal that couldn't understand why so humans could be cruel, "You need to try and let them help you, Hercules." I let him lick me and laughed.

Standing, I went over to Bucky and Travis. "What do you need me to do?" Their eyes widened, Travis looking kind of scared. I raised an eyebrow, "What's going on?" Fur bumped against my hand and I saw Hercules underneath my palm.

Travis gulped, "I don't usually spend time with the tigers unless they're unconscious." I gestured for Travis to come closer, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You'll never know unless you try. And as someone really special to me said, you need to try." I held out my hand to him, "Come say hi to Hercules, it'll be your first test." He moved forward and took my hand, palm slick against mine.

I dragged him forward and kneeled next to Hercules, "Don't worry Travis, just kneel and hold out your hands to him." He did as I asked and Hercules sniffed him then briefly robbed against him. Travis seemed awed that the tiger responded to him. I smiled, "He just needs a gentle touch. He's been hurt his entire life and doesn't know how to respond to people. I bet he doesn't know whether or not you guys are going to hurt him. I know a little something about that."

I twisted so I could look at Hercules, "I'll come back to check on you. But you need to try to be good, okay?" He licked the side of my face. I looked over at Travis, "Will you let me know how he's doing? I can come back whenever if he needs me."

"Of course. Just give me your phone number and…"

Bucky took out his wallet and brought out a business card, handing it to Travis. "My personal cell is on there, just text me and let me know and I'll pass the message on to her."

As we left the enclosure, Travis seemed really happy. "Thank you, you don't know how much that means to us that he's finally responding. I don't know what we would have done without you."

"I'm just glad I could be of some help."

When we got back to the facility, Steve and Natasha were sitting on the couch, talking to one another. They both seem sad and a little exhausted so they didn't notice us walk in the door.

"I'm sorry Tasha," Steve said softly. "I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I'm just so fucking scared all the time. Ever since I woke up, bad things have happened. I didn't know what to make of Jo, I'm still not sure what to make of her. But you are right, just because she could potentially be dangerous doesn't mean we should treat her like an animal."

"Steve," she reached up and touch the side of his face. "I love you you stupid man, but you need to tell this to Jo, not to me. Better yet, tell it to Bucky."

At that time, Bucky cleared his throat and they turned to look at us. Steve's face flushed red but he gave us a small smile, "Did you guys have fun today?"

Bucky must have decided to pretend like we hadn't heard anything because he just grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the couch, sitting us down near them. Pulling out his phone, he brought up some pictures of me with the tiger that he must have taken without me realizing.

"God, she was so fucking brave. I don't know if I could have gone up to a tiger as she did." He kept flipping through the pictures, and I watched their faces as they stared at the pictures in awe. He stopped on the last one, a picture of me with my arms wrapped around the neck of the tiger, then he told the story of why we were there in the first place.

Natasha got up and moved over to sit next to me, then wrapped her arms around me. She said softly in my ear, "You seem happier."

I whispered back, "I couldn't do it without Bucky." Then I added, "Don't be mad at Steve over me. I don't want to come between you two."

"Oh don't worry about us," she said softly. "I've already forgiven him, I'm just going to make him work for it a little."

We both laughed in the boys looked over at us, shocked to hear the joyful sound come out of me. Steve stood and held out his hand to Natasha, "Come on Tasha, let's finish our conversation in our room."

A sly smile across her face, "Whatever you say, lover."

After they left, I let Bucky put his arm around me as he pulled me against his chest. He rubbed my back and I thought a lot about life and what being in this alternate universe really meant. I thought a lot about how it took him dragging me out of the house to really try and see that there's more to live for than just the promise I made my father.

I turned my face up so I could look into his eyes, "Thank you. I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you, you've helped me more than you probably realize."

He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and smiled. "Just remember that you're not alone, we're here for you no matter what."

I stood in hell that my hand him, grinning as he took it. "Come on," I dragged him back to my room, pulling the door shut behind us. I'd never felt like this before, never felt this desire coursing through me.

I ran my hands over his chest slipping them underneath his shirt. "Jo, you don't have to do this," he held my hands in place. "You need to finish healing."

"I want to do this," I undid his pants, pulling them down as I sank to my knees. I may not have had the best experiences with men in my lifetime, but I knew what they liked. I held the base of his cock with my hand and slowly lowered my mouth onto the tip.

He groaned and tightened his hands in my hair, "Fucking hell, that feels so good."

Standing, I stripped off my clothes and went over to the desk, bending over and spreading my legs. I looked over at him, "I'm yours, Bucky."

For a second I thought he was going to take me up on it, but then he shook his head and pulled up his pants. "I'm sorry Jo, I can't."

After he left the room, I stayed against the desk for several minutes trying to figure out what went wrong. Not wanting to chase after him to ask, I just crawled into bed and closed my eyes, praying for sleep to come quickly.

The next morning, I decided to seek out Natasha and get her opinion on what had happened. Walking around the facility, the only person I saw was Tony working in his lab. There was no way in hell I was going to talk to him about it. I decided to go to Steve and Natasha's room, to see if maybe she was in there.

Knocking on the door, I waited patiently as footsteps. When Steve answered the door, I gave him a small smile, "Have you seen Natasha?"

"She had to leave for a mission late last night. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Fuck," I ran my hands through my hair. "The only other person that's in the building right now is Tony, and I can't talk to him about this. I guess… you know Bucky the best out of anyone here, maybe you can help me."

He opened the door and gestured for me to go into the room. We sat down on the sofa, both of us looking awkward, unsure of what to say. I said, "I tried to have sex with Bucky yesterday."

"Oh God," he laid a hand over his eyes. "I don't think I can have the sex talk with you. Bucky might kill me."

"Please Steve, there's no one else around, and I need to know what I did wrong."

"Fine,” he sighed. "But if he asks, I'm blaming all of this on you."

I tried to smile but it didn't reach my eyes, "After we came home, I wanted to show him how grateful I was for everything he's done for me. He's the first person I felt any real desire for. He would be the first…"

"Oh God, you're not a virgin are you?"

"Not exactly," I said hesitantly. His eyebrows rose, and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. "Being a part of the resistance didn't give me a lot of time for a social life. I was never with anybody willingly."

"Fuck." He looked sad, "Your only experience with being with somebody else is being forced?" I nodded, "Alright, tell me what happened and we'll see if we can figure this out."

"I may have only been forced, but I know what men like. At least, I know what the Kree liked. I started to…" My face flushed, "This is harder than I thought it would be." I closed my eyes so I didn't have to watch Steve's face, "I kneeled on the floor and started to suck on him. He seemed to like that. But when I went over to the desk and bent over it so he could take what he wanted, he just… left."

"Did you guys kiss?" I shook my head and he laid a hand on top of mine, "So everything happened exactly like you told me?"

I opened my eyes to look at him, not seeing disgust like I thought I would. He looked heartbroken. I said softly, "Yeah."

"Alright, this is going to be a little harder because you've never been with anybody willingly. Bucky didn't leave you because he didn't want you, because anyone with eyes can tell that he does. I think he left because he felt that he would be taking advantage of you. I think he probably thought you were only doing that to thank him."

"I want to be with him because he makes me feel… I feel so much with him. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know how to help you with that, I'm not going to show you because both Natasha and Bucky would kill me, then bring me back to torture me just to kill me again." He chuckled lightly, "But I do have an idea. He'll probably kill me for this too, but it's the only way I can think of to help." He stood and started towards the door, "Come on, we need to go to Tony's lab."

We got to the lab and Tony looked at us. "Steve, Jo, what are you guys doing here?"

Steve replied, "Do you have a tablet you can loan to Jo? I want to show something to her on it."

Tony's eyebrows raised, "What do you want to show her, Cap?"

'Um, that's a long story." His cheeks pinkened, "Do you have a tablet or not?"

Tony reached into a drawer and pulled out a rectangular object, "Take this. It's an older model, so she can just keep it."

Steve left the room quickly, forcing me to jog to catch up to him. When he reached my room, he opened the door and went inside. I followed him. He was tapping on the tablet as I walked up to him, "I'm not going to explain to you about sex. Just remember, kissing is important. If you don't know how to kiss, just tell Bucky. He'll help you figure it out."

He handed me the tablet and I saw a website that he had pulled up that had a bunch of videos of naked people. He looked even redder than before, "This is porn. I pulled up the romantic stuff for you. Most of the stuff on this site is not realistic. But, some of the romantic stuff will give you an idea of how people like to... You know. Just, watch some of this and then try again."

Before he left, he turned back to me, "I know it's hard, not knowing how to fit in here with us. Just remember, we're all here for you. And I know that Bucky cares more for you than you probably realize."

After several hours of watching porn, I felt slightly more knowledgeable, but also incredibly turned on. I was still really confused about which parts were realistic, and which parts were not, but I felt a little more at ease with the idea of sex. One of the main themes through all of the videos I watched was the closeness between the actors. Lots of kissing, fondling, touching, and being with each other. I could see why Bucky would turn me down.

Feeling better than I had in ages, I went out to the kitchen and started making dinner for everyone. After putting it on the table, I picked up two plates for me and Bucky, putting them in a basket I found with a blanket on top. Everyone came out for dinner, except him.

Steve came up to me, “Did you get what you needed?”

“Yeah, thanks for the help.”

“What did Cap help you with?” Tony asked, grabbing a roll off the table and taking a huge bite.

“Um,” I felt my face flush.

Bucky walked into the dining room, saw me and frowned. When he saw the picnic basket, his frown deepened, “What’s going on?”

“I made us dinner,” my voice came out at barely a whisper. “I was hoping you and I could…”

Steve walked over to Bucky and whispered angrily into his ear. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Bucky’s face went from anger to confusion back to anger again. But when he looked over at me, his gaze softened and he smiled slightly.

Steve pushed him my way. Grabbing the basket out of my hands, Bucky started walking toward the door. He looked over his shoulder, “Coming?”

Once we were outside, I grabbed his free hand, holding it tight between mine. A safe distance away from the facility, we stopped and I laid the blanket out on the grass. Sitting, I patted the area next to me. Bucky sat, still looking a little strange. But he put the basket down and turned to me. I grabbed both his hands, “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

He started frowning again, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have let it get that far. It’s my fault.”

I pulled away, trying not to cry, “No, it was my fault. I thought you… Nevermind.” Pushing myself up, I started to walk back to the facility, not wanting him to see me cry.

Bucky ran after me and stopped in my path, “I almost took advantage of you, Jo. None of this was your fault. I should have known better.”

Wiping the tears off my cheeks, I glared at him, “Are you being purposefully dense?”

“I don’t…”

“You have been the only good thing since I came here. You treated me like a real person, not like a broken animal.” I crossed my hands over my chest, “I feel… I feel so much. I never knew I could feel like this for someone.”

“So, you want me?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” I moved forward until I could cup his face with my hands. Slowly, I moved them down until they rested lightly on his chest. I moved closer until my face was mere inches from his, “But not just because the thought of you doing things to me makes me feel… I want you because you make me happy. The way you look at me, the way you are with me… It makes me want things I never have before.”

“God,” he leaned his head down, stopping only when I turned my head away.

I frowned, “I don’t know how to… I’ve never…” I leaned my head against his shoulder, “Steve told me I should just tell you, but I don’t know how.”

“Just tell me, sweetheart. Remember, I will never look at you differently because of something you tell me.”

I kept my face buried in his shoulder, “I’ve never been kissed before. All the times I was with… It wasn’t my choice.” I looked up at him, “You’re my choice, Bucky. Always.”

“Just follow my lead,” he said as he smiled. Leaning down, he placed his lips against mine, kissing me softly. 

After a few seconds, I moaned, my lips parting. He licked my lips, then slipped his tongue into my mouth. As our tongues danced together, I let my hands drift over his body. When they reached his ass, he groaned and pulled back, “Maybe we should eat before the food gets cold.”

I kissed him against, pulling his body closer to mine, “I don’t want to eat. I want you.” Kissing him again, I slipped my hands under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin. His heart was racing and I could feel his arousal pressing through his jeans.

When he pulled back, we were both breathless and panting with need. He grabbed my hand, “Come on. There’s a place we can go that’s a little more private.”

Stopping by the picnic basket, he grabbed the blanket and pulled me along a path to the tree line. We wandered for a few minutes until we came upon a small clearing. He let go of me and put the blanket onto the ground and sat down. I joined him, pulling his face toward mine so I could kiss him again. Smiling, I caressed the side of his face, “I see now why Steve told me kissing was important.”

“No more talk about Steve. I don’t want to think about how he helped you right now.” Laying me back, he placed himself above me, grinding his hardness against me. I moaned loudly and he kissed me again as he slowly lifted my shirt off.

Pulling it over my head, he lowered until he could suck on my nipple through the bra. As it got harder, he bit down lightly. My hips lifted of their own accord, trying to find something to help ease the ache I felt.

Chuckling, he pulled back and stripped off the rest of my clothes, taking off all of his as well except for his boxers. He looked down at me, “Damn, baby girl, you are gorgeous.” He placed kisses on my chest, moving down my stomach until he was right near the top of my thighs. His eyes met mine, “I think you’ll enjoy this.”

His mouth descended on my pussy and I lost all semblance of thought. His mouth moved against me in ways that I didn’t even know were possible. My fingers threaded into his hair and I pulled his head up. He looked at me confused and I said, “I want you inside me.”

He moved up and kissed me hard, “Whatever the lady wants.”

I didn’t feel fabric anymore, just the hardness of his body. Wiggling his hips, I could feel the tip of his cock against my pussy. I lifted my hips, trying to get him to slip inside of me. As he laughed, he moved away, gripping my hips tight, “Hold still, baby girl.”

“Or you’ll what?” I moved in his grasp, “Please, Bucky, I need you inside of me.” I ran my hands down his shoulders and onto his arms, “Please.”

Thrusting his hips forward, he entered me in one swift movement. I gasped as he moved, his cock filling me up. He bent down, capturing my lips with his, continuing to move in and out of me. I felt something building, low in my belly. When I moaned, he grinned and reached a hand between us so he could rub my clit. The second he touched it, I exploded, my pussy contracting over and over as I screamed out his name.

He kept fucking me, thrusting harder and faster. I kept coming, my fingernails digging into his back. When he leaned down to kiss me, his hips started stuttering and he thrust in one last time, groaning against my mouth.

Falling on top of me, he kissed me gently, “That was…”

“Amazing.” I tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear, “You better be careful, Barnes, I might just fall for you.”

He rolled to the side and pulled me against him, “That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

I laughed, “Not in the slightest. You know, my father…” My voice cracked and I had to clear my throat, “When I was little, my father took me to the rebuilt Avengers facility. On one of the walls, there was this mural. He taught me who all of you were using it. Telling me stories of your heroic deeds. You always were my favorite.”

“Really? Not Steve?”

“Nope. You overcame so much, and the Kree were this horrible evil, forcing us to do so many things against our will. In the end, all I wanted was for you to be there by my side, helping me to fight them.” I laid my head against his chest and sighed, “During my meditation session with Bruce, I remembered something. My father told me how much you all would have loved me. Of course, I was a child at the time. But he told me how much you would love me. He even said something about how if I grew up to be half as beautiful as my mother, you would like me even more.” I pushed myself up and looked down on him, “I don’t remember my mother, but I remember that you always gave me hope. Even back then, you made me a better person.”

He pulled me down and kissed me, “Well, I guess if anyone would know me, it’s Thor. We’ve had some… male bonding over the years.” He held me against his chest, running his hand down my back, “I’ve never felt like this, Jo. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed with it all, trust me, I’m right there with you.”

“I’m not overwhelmed. I’ve actually never been surer of something in my entire life.” I yawned and held him closer, “I might already be falling for you, Barnes. I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to.”


	11. New Beginnings

After Bucky and I finally took our relationship to the next level, my mood increased drastically. It wasn’t just the fact that we had sex every night, then again in the morning. It also wasn’t the fact that I got to sleep wrapped in his arms, even though it made me sleep a lot better. I was happier because life finally felt worth living. I finally felt like a part of the world, instead of just an outsider.

Everyone started treating me like a member of the team. I still cooked, but that was because I was the only one who knew how to cook other than Steve. And to be honest, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the moans that people would make when they ate the dishes I made. However, I had stopped cleaning the facility and doing laundry. Tony actually hired someone to come in once a week to clean, and the others went back to washing their own clothes.

The best thing was the job that I had gotten working at the zoo. It was only for about four hours a day, but I got to spend more time with Hercules and watch him go from being timid to playing with the other tigers. My only requirement for the job was that Bucky came with me. There were no cars in my time, so I had never learned to drive and being around strangers still freaked me out. Plus, it meant I got to spend more time with him.

Even Tony came around, deciding that since I was related to him, we should at least try to be family. He spent time trying to teach me about electronics, but when I didn’t have the patience for it, we spent time playing board games instead. It got Tony out of his lab, which made Pepper happy and brought us closer together.

The only one who I hadn’t spent much time with was Thor. He spent the majority of his time in New Asgard, helping Valkyrie run things. We had come to an understanding of sorts. While he wasn’t my father, our relationship had deepened and I felt like he was the next best thing to having my actual father back. 

I woke up, wrapped tightly in Bucky’s arms. Turning over, I kissed him softly to wake him up, “Good morning, handsome.”

His eyes opened slowly and he pulled me on top of him, my hips straddling him, “Good morning, baby girl. Did you sleep well?”

He groaned as my hips moved against his hardening cock. I grinned, “I slept like a baby like I have every night since you convinced me to move into your room.”

“Fuck,” he lifted me and slid his cock inside me, so when I rocked my hips back and forth, he could feel my wetness envelop him. Fingers gripped my hips tight and he flipped me onto my back, staying inside me as we turned, “God, you are so fucking perfect, baby girl.”

He started moving in and out of me, slowly. Usually, our sessions were fast and rough. We were too into one another to take things slow. But right then, he stared into my eyes as he moved. I brought my hands up to his face, tangling my fingers in his hair. Pulling his head down, I kissed him softly.

Even though the orgasms weren’t as explosive as normal, I felt more at peace than I had in a long time. He kissed me and ran his fingers over the side of my face, over and over. When he stopped and moved off of me, he pulled me into his arms, “Jo, I have something I want to tell you.”

When he used my first name, my heart started to pound. He hadn’t called me Jo in the months since we had become a couple. I tried to keep my voice calm, “I’m listening.”

Bucky chuckled, “It’s nothing bad, I promise.” He laid a hand on my stomach, fingers splayed over my skin, “It’s funny before you came into our lives and killed Thanos, I was… well, I’m not going to say happy, but I wasn’t unhappy. Before the fight against Thanos, I lived in Wakanda, raising goats. The children would visit me, but I lived alone.” He kissed the top of my head, “Then the fight came, and I returned to New York.”

“Bucky,” I said softly.

“No, let me finish. When I met you, I was in awe of you. The story you told, of fighting the Kree, of traveling back in time to right things simply because your father asked it of you.” He moved his fingers on my stomach absently, taking time to phrase his words, “When you got…”

“Depressed.”

“When you got depressed, my heart broke for you. There was this strong woman whose world had fallen apart and there was nothing I could do to help her.” His voice sounded distant, “Slowly, you came back to me. And in the time you were here, I found myself feeling things I never expected to. I fell in love with you, Jo. Completely and irrevocably. I love you, Josephine Eliza Stark. More than words can ever describe.”

“Bucky,” I reached up and touched the side of his face. “I…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted. “I just wanted you to know how I feel. To know that I love you and have never been happier.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” I pushed myself up until I was looking down at him. “You helped bring me back to life. I’ve been half in love with you for years from the stories my father told me. Honestly, I had decided long ago that I would never be with anyone because I refused to even have the possibility to bring children into a world that the Kree inhabited. But then you pointed that gun at me and I felt like I knew you.” I leaned down and kissed him softly, “I love you. There are no other words to describe it, I love you. I. Love. You. You are my happily ever after, my forever. I would marry you in a heartbeat.”

“Really?” He sounded happy, “You want to marry me?”

“I love you. If you want to stay like this until the day I die, I will die happy. If you want to get married and have a dozen children, I would marry you and then fight you about how many children we are having. Two is my limit, by the way.” I kissed him again, “But I’m never letting you go, no matter what. Death is the only escaping me.”

“If I didn’t love you so much, I would think that was a threat,” he laughed. “Now, I don’t have a ring, but will you…”

“Yes,” I said quickly.

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

As he laughed, I pushed him softly, “I just told you I would marry you. I don’t need you to ask.”

“I want to ask. I want to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me.”

I played with my necklace, my parents rings clinking against one another. Taking it off, I handed him my mother’s ring. He took it and looked at it. The ring was just a plain gold band, my father’s the exact same. I put the necklace back on.

He climbed off the bed and pulled me up. Then he kneeled in front of me, holding up my mother’s ring, “Jo, will you marry me?”

As he slipped the ring onto my finger, I nodded and pulled him up, “A thousand times yes.” I kissed him hard, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He pulled away, “Now, we need to get dressed. Steve has a surprise for you.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m not going to spoil it.”

We got dressed and I waited in the living room while Bucky went and got everyone else. When they came, Steve had an excited look on his face and dragged Natasha toward the door that led to the basement. Bucky grabbed my hand, “It’s in the basement, in case you couldn’t tell.”

The others went first, and we all headed downstairs. When they walked into the room that I had visited so many times, I felt myself start to shake. I couldn’t figure out what the surprise could be, and it freaked me out.

Bucky slid his arms around me from behind, whispering in my ear, “It’ll be fine, baby girl I promise.” He let go and put a hand over my eyes, “It’s a surprise. And everyone wants to see your reaction when you see it.”

He led me into the room, stopping in the middle of it. Steve started to talk, “Jo, I know that when you first got here I was an asshole. But in the past few months, you’ve become family to us. When Tony found out what you had done while using Friday, he asked for my help. I know it won’t be exactly the same, but I hope it brings you happiness.”

Bucky dropped his hand and I opened my eyes, staring at the wall in front of me. In front of me was an almost exact replica of the mural from the Avengers facility from my universe. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked toward it. I couldn’t help but look at the Bucky in the painting, the same half-smile on his face, but the pain in his eyes was gone.

A hand touched my shoulder, Steve said, “You should look a little closer. I added something.” He turned my head toward the side, “You are a hero too, Jo. You deserved to be a part of the group of us.”

I could barely see due to the tears in my eyes, but I turned and pulled him into a big hug. “I love you too, Steve.”

“We all love you, kiddo,” Tony said from the side. “And we’re happy that you’re here with us. Partially because you make Buckster here happy. But also because you’re family.”

I let go of Steve and gave Tony a tight hug. Then I walked over to Bucky, “How long have you know about this?”

“A while,” he tucked my hair behind my ear. “It was the toughest secret I’ve kept in longer than I can remember. Which is why I want everyone to know we’re getting married, as soon as possible. Because, baby girl, I’m never letting you go. Death is the only escape.”

“You know, if I didn’t know you loved me, I would think that was a threat.”


End file.
